


The Forest

by Dalphinia



Series: The Forest Flames [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Arrow (Comics), Green Arrow - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drugs, F/M, Feels, Hurt, Incest, Romance, Sex Pollen, Vertigo - Freeform, Wincest - Freeform, aliensmadeemdoit, family love, queencest, this tagging oh god...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalphinia/pseuds/Dalphinia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Arrow can tell you the number of moles on the back of Thea Queen, can tell you what the fading bruises on the back of her neck mean. The Arrow could tell you it began on The Island and the Arrow would be telling the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Kidnap

The Kidnap  
The debris of the plane is still floating in the water, a semi oil cover of muck sticking resolutely to the parts that lay in disarray. Two heavy treads of tracks could be traced through the dense forest, silent and unfeteringly morose in its tone. The animals in the forest have long fled and it is only the occasional screams of magpies that shatter the evocative silence upon the ground. The breeze was hardly present, but the coolness of the air saved it's two occupants misery as they trekked diligently up the hill. The girl laughs loudly at something the man says, smacking him on the back and leaning onto his shoulder before he gives her a friendly shake off.

The trees shiver with the wind and the breeze picks up tiny snatches of her laughter before it ceases again. The world is silent and cocooned and Oliver feels as though nothing exists but them. And that's the first mistake of course. Oliver feels the sting in his neck before he gains enough of his senses to warn Thea. The familiar foliage around him dims and turns upside down and he's pretty sure he can hear the breathy cry of his sister. I'm going to kill Malcolm Merlyn he thinks and the idea sustains him until his eyes fall back into his head and he dissolves into unconsciousness,the rough gravel of their trail digging into his skin with painful doggedness before he slips away completely.

Oliver regains some amount of his senses and he keeps his eyes closed, the memory of being woken up many times by Amanda Waller in this position not really escaping him. He breathes deep, concentrating on the surroundings, trying to forget the aching reminder of his failures breathing fitfully next to him, his speedy for God's sake, probably still lost in the world of whatever drug they'd pumped into them.

The ground beneath him is wet and the scent of pine and ash register in his recovering brain. His palms are neatly tied behind a tree, bound partially to Thea's and Oliver surreptitiously tests them, straining his wrists against the scratchy jute before he's sure he can break through them. An acute sense of irritation flutters through him before he reigns in the emotion and concentrates resolutely, flexing his feet, which feel sore yet whole, not really damaged. They're tied together at the knees and ankles and Oliver wonders how in the world he could've been captured by tribals. Then again, Malcolm probably set them up. The reminder of Malcolm sets off another burst of rage and he grits his teeth again, wondering if the smug bastard was laughing at his stupidity in Starling City right now.

He can feel Thea try to wake up from behind him, her body shivering against him in a way that suggests she's struggling to get out, in a way that's not really helping him keep his composure so he turns his cheek until it brushes against her hair. Shhh * he whispers and Thea immediately falls quiet, and Oliver wonders suddenly at how obedient she is, how his confession of being *that guy had so easily changed her and not affected her at all. He was so convinced by Diggle's warning that she'd hate him and every moment of his reveal had him crying inside, his heart as broken as the skin on his chest where Ra's blade had plunged to the hilt.

And when Thea had given him the same expression of awe she'd given him when she was a baby, my big bwawa is the best, that same sense of adoration throughout her pre teen years my brother would give me anything cuz he loves me best, his heart felt like it'd been released of shackles he wasn't aware were even there.

She'd run into his arms, her eyes red from an emotion he couldn't place, her thin body shuddering in his, so familiar as she broke apart with words of Thank you Thank you and Ollie fought back the reminder of Thea telling him the same Thank you Thank you when she was six years old and he'd defied their mother to bring her her favorite extra sugar chocolate cake when she shouldn't have had any. He was aware of the grip speedy had on him, her lips brushing against his ears to whisper more words of gratitude, her cheeks wet with tears against his own and Oliver wants to fight the lump in his throat to tell her he's never been more happy to know that she knows, and he's pretty sure that he should have conveyed the feeling better than clutching his sister hard against him, ignoring the fierce spark of pain against his chest that arose when she gripped him needily, instead of speaking.

Oliver almost opens his eyes and gives them up when Speedy grips onto him now startling him, her slim fingers tangled in the harsh rope as she searches for reassurance in his own dry palm. Oliver fights away the protective urge to snap out of the bindings and get Thea out of there because he still wants to see if there was anything to find out.

He managed to twist his fingers so they met Thea's behind him and tapped five times into her palm. He felt her give out a shuddery breath and he's relieved that she seems to have gotten the message. He's aware that he's making a risk here and weighs the options of escaping immediately and staying for a little while to figure out why they were captured. Oliver hesitates.

Of course, that was his second mistake.

He doesn't have time to do anything but exhale this time before he's hit by another dart and feels the universe turn on its head a second time.

Oliver's woken by soft hands tugging on his hair, gently smoothing over the rough edges that stick out. He cracks open his eyes and in the semi darkness he's confused for a moment. "Shado?" he croaks, astonishes by the way his voice sounds like he went ten rounds with a Budweiser, not that he hadn't before. The dark figure above him shimmers in his vision, seeming to move.

A quiet chuckle greets his voice and Oliver squints in order to see clearly, finding out that it's Thea staring at him with love in her eyes as she touches his stubble with her second hand. Oliver's mouth feels dry and he gets up, ignoring the fact that his body is protesting at his temerity. It's all he could do not to climb back and place his head into Thea's lap and encourage the closeness he feels with her.

It's hard to reconcile the wide eyed child in his head with the young woman in front of him, a young woman who still gives him the same look of adoration which he thinks he should either be over by now or be probably undeserving of it.

Thea gets up behind him and Oliver strides over to her to pull her in a hug. "Are you okay?" he asks and she nods.

"I woke up just two minutes ago" she says against his shoulder, her breath hot and dampening his cotton shirt as she spoke.

"And you seemed uncomfortable". Oliver can't help the laugh that bubbles out of him when he realizes Thea's a little embarrassed and he kisses the top of her head before catching hold of her shoulders and forcing her to look him in the eye.

"Remember when you were six? You'd always ruffle my hair until I went crazy" Thea smiles and looks up at him and oh god, Oliver wants to freeze this moment forever, wants to think of nothing but her wide eyes trusting and happy as they look into his, the forest suddenly narrowed down to just the two of them, a strange coil of warmth tightening in his stomach.

"You had more hair then" she says softly before leaning in to kiss him on the nose and ruffling the hair on his head as she did so. "But what the hell just happened back there?" she asks and Oliver shrugs, stepping back and breathing in deeply before Thea falls into stride next to him . The forest feels like it's expanded again and Oliver swallows again to compensate for the strangely off centered feeling he had. "Atleast they left us within a mile of the camp" he replied, glancing around at the trees, each one seeming to whisper to him their own language and their own way of telling him what he'd missed from spending time away.

"Hugh" Thea snorted and Oliver resisted holding her hand and pulling her along next to him to protect her, he knows she wouldn't accept it. "But I'm still weirded out. Are we just going to think it didn't happen?" she asks and there, there's the parts of Speedy that have stayed the same, that old unflinching grasp onto a topic, the reluctance she showed of ever letting go.

"Just until we reach the camp, speedy" he says and Thea looks at him in that strange way of hers that's becoming unusual to him, that look he hasn't been able to decipher yet. He wants to ask her why she gives him that look, her eyes slanted and tight but her mouth clearly smiling and he knows she wouldn't answer.

Relearning his sister wasnt exactly something he thought he had to.

The thought unsettles him so much that Oliver didn't speak until he sees the tips of his white tent fluttering in the cooling air, it's flaps stained with grease and dirt.

"We're here" he said grimly, and ignored the hitch in Thea's breathing that told him she was both nervous and excited. "What now?" she breathed and Oliver tightened the grip on his backpack.

"We train" he said shortly, giving thea a meaningful look before walking purposefully.

Damn Malcolm Merlyn


	2. Training Grounds

## Training Grounds

Oliver spun against the bamboo walls, kicking off of the wood until he laid his bo flat across Thea’s neck, making sure the stick didn’t touch her as she lay frozen, her own bo clattered to the side and her neck glistening with sweat.

“Three to one” he said lightly, flipping up and dodging the kick Thea sent his way with little effort. “Don’t remind me Ollie” Thea pants and Oliver is stuck with an urge to muss up Thea’s hair.

“Break?” he asks, throwing the bo against the wall and walking towards their tent outside. He hears Thea run at him so he isn’t really surprised when she tackles him from behind. “Speedy” he grunts when he realizes she’s faster than he expected which causes him to somehow end up in a piggyback situation with her legs wrapped around his ribs, which hurt a little when he moved but nothing otherwise. “Ollie” she says delighted, and he doesn’t protest when she leans against his head and musses up his hair until he can feel it sticking out.

He grips her calves tightly and barrels outside. Thea gasps as he twists her around and forces her to the ground, his arms tight around her biceps as he holds her down, his knee placed strategically in between her own legs.

Thea blows into his eyes and he blinks rapidly and the distraction is enough for her to flip them over and turn her wrists so she grips his own with almost bruising strength.

Oliver’s almost afraid to admit he’s impressed although he knows he wouldn’t be this cautious when sparring with a real enemy. He let’s himself have the moment though, and lays down against the ground, the grass giving it a softer texture underneath than usual.

Thea laughs and loosens her grip and she bends down and nuzzles into the side of Oliver’s neck and for a moment, he’s struck by the fact that she’s doing it unconsciously. “What are you doing?” he asks breathlessly, surprised at his tone when she shifts so she’s more or less straddling him than sitting on him.

“I really missed you Ollie” she says and woah, the brotherly instinct is full on back and Ollie wraps his arms around his sister to hug her, sitting up slowly so they’re properly embracing. “I got you” he says, in that soft tone that somehow always comes out when it comes to Thea. She still has her legs around him and Oliver really would’ve been unaware of that particular fact if she hadn’t moved slightly, a minute slip in the movement of her hips, a displaced leg perhaps and the tiny, bit back moan she probably let’s out on accident. Oliver can’t help it if it somehow gets him to be in a well. . . unusually _different_ state.

He ignores it because he’s pretty sure his body’s being a bastard, but the sensation doesn’t go away and Oliver pulls back quickly, giving Thea a genuine smile to disguise his _condition_ as he hurriedly pulls her up.

“Gotta pee” he says and Thea gives him a full bellied laugh and shoves him away. “Gross!” she yells and Oliver backs away quickly, frowning at himself as

he undoes his pants and pantomimes what he’s supposed to be doing.

It had been a long time, there really wasn’t anyone since Sara and still, it really wasn’t a reason for him to be affected. Oliver gives himself a little shake, disgusted with himself and refuses to associate the _hot sex after training with Sara_ to anything remotely happening here.

He likes to think he succeeds.  
Mostly.

Thea is cleaning their training bows with a discipline that she probably learned from _him_ and Oliver wanted to protest but she was actually doing it correctly, and it wasn’t as though he was going to protest against what he’d suggested in the first place, what he was going to do now anyway.

A sudden grip of nausea overwhelms him and Oliver swallows loudly before bending over. Thea looks up, her beaming face turned into a frown as she watches him keel over and he watches her skirt the rocks as she hurries over to him.

She grasps hold of his shirt and places an affectionate arm around his head, holding his ears closed and Oliver gets a flashback of their mother doing the same to then when they fell sick, her floral perfume mixing in the air as she soothed them with her other hand.

Oliver retches but doesn’t vomit and he holds Thea’s wrist in his hand as he gets up, trying not to breathe in the smell of Thea’s perfume, and trying not to think of the fact that his body seemed to have nasty reactions to her proximity. Three days? He wants going to last _one hour_ if he thought this weirdly.

“Hmm?” he says when he realized Thea was trying to ask him something and had probably been trying for a while now. “Ollie I don’t know about you but what he hell was that? Dyou think it’s a side effect to when we got -” and Ollie doesn’t let her complete the sentence because he’s pretty sure he just heard the telltale crackle of Leaves being stepped on.

He grabs Thea’s hand, and points at their tent. " Go" he mouths and her mouth is set in a stubborn line but she listens, silently going over to the tent, ignoring the rocks like he suggested her to.

The crackling grows louder and Oliver is braced against the rock, making sure not to make any noise, notcing the noise quicker and quicker.

A dark mam appears out of the woods and Oliver squints at him, wondering if he was a tribal, although it was evident he wasn’t by the crisp suit he wore. “You know she should’ve been here with you. It’s really not much use if you try to protect her against everything still” the man says and Oliver is confused as to how he knows about thea.

“Malcolm sent me” he continued and Oliver leaped out of the rock before holding the man in a headlock. “Tell me” Oliver rasped as he held onto the man’s neck, feeling the man’s stubbly beard price his own chin as he held stubbornly onto him.

“easy.” The man said, seemingly unpanicked as he held his arms up, taking out a tiny packet from his pocket. “Face your fears” he says and drops it to the ground as Oliver let’s him go and

glances at the packet immediately realizing what he means.

“No” he says immediately and is frustrated by the pitying look on the man’s face. “You know it’s the only way. You cannot protect your love forever” he said pointing at the tent.

“She’s my sister” Oliver said automatically. “Same difference” the man responded and Oliver thought hard before letting the man go. “Did you arrange the tribals?” he asks, pretty sure the man would lie even if they had and he’s surprised at the genuine look of surprise that crosses the man’s face. “What tribals?” he asks and his incredulousness passes over Oliver. “Nothing” he says and the man backs away slowly, his palms up and his expression still puzzled.

Oliver shakes his head and marches over to the tent, finding a pissed off Thea staring at him. " Before you say anything, I’m sorry I told you to go. I won’t ever try it again even if every fiber of my being wants to cover you" Thea’s expression softened and she looked somewhat mollified as she gave Ollie a smile before pointing towards the packet in his hand.

“More drugs?” she asked and Ollie sighed because he’s pretty sure she’s finally clean and he really doesn’t want to start her on again.

“Don’t worry Ollie” Thea says and places a warm hand on his arm. “I won’t get addicted ever agin” she said and her touch almost burned through Oliver as he swallowed harshly before nodding.

“This drug won’t give you a high” he began ignoring the _too bad_ Thea muttered. “It’ll show you what you’re truly afraid of and we’ll stop using it until we can learn to control that fear and not let it overwhelm us” he finishes, taking out the sample while he talked and measuring it precisely, a smaller dose for Thea considering her build.

“Sounds like fun” she snarked but Oliver suddenly realized something and felt cold. There was no way -

“I’m going to lock you in somewhere because I don’t want us fighting each other accidentally” Both him and her ignore the unspoken _Oliver would probably win_ and Thea nodded, although Oliver was worried at how determined she looked.

“Be calm okay?” he said and because he could and because he was already sliding on a slippery slope, Oliver pulled her in for a quick hug, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head, feeling her soft hair brush his lips as he did so, her own scent _just Thea_ washed over him for a moment and Oliver let himself feel the peace and the quiet in their tent for a moment before he let go and briskly walked outside.

Thea followed and he swallowed at the sound of the swift _zzzzzzip_ of the tent and marched off to their training grounds, figuring he could be outside while Thea could be inside.

“Remember none of its real” he reminded her, focused on the minute expressions she unknowingly let out as he knew he’d have to teach her on those later.

Her nose twitched and Ollie put it down to nervousness before giving her the dose and herding her into the training compound.

“Ollie” Thea

said at the door, turning around. Oliver stood still, watching as she swallowed thickly and glanced at him, her eyes a tad red. “I love you” Oliver knew she did but somehow the words and the way she said them so forcefully, _like she meant every single word_ his mouth went dry again and Oliver rubbed his palms against his trousers before replying, his voice equally hoarse and his eyes streaming in the wind. “I love you so much Thea, Speedy” he said and not for the first time, he felt like the names belonged to two different girls, one his pampered younger sister that thought the world of him and the other a brave young woman ready to fight with him.

He heard the door lock from the inside and popped the outside bolt before opening the brown packet nervously.

Last time he’d fought himself before killing well, _himself_ and this time Oliver wasn’t very sure he wanted to know what lied in frantical waiting his subconscious. _You will need to conquer your fears_ Malcolm’s eyes and his voice had issued a challenge and Oliver wasn’t afraid of one.

He stabbed the tiny injection into his neck and wandered as far away from the training building as he could.

Nausea spread over him, a curious feeling like snails crawling down his back accompanied a general sense of unease before a mocking laughter met him from the side.

Oliver truly believed this was the beginning of the end


	3. Afraid of Fright

Afraid of Fright

Ra's was almost impossible to fight against, his strokes clean and simple, his taunts hitting Oliver to the bone, the way the word _Thea_ got tossed around so casually in front of him had him burning. Oliver swung again, frustrated at the lack of contact with a solid body and angered at the way he grew so easily unhinged with every word. They'd been doing this so long that by now Oliver forgot if he wasn't doing this his whole life, maybe he was fighting a loosing battle for the _second_ time in his life.

Oliver gasped and choked up blood as Ra's Al Ghul easily punched him, and danced back, his chest broad and unyielding as he wielded his rapier with simple intent.

"Thea was so beautiful sliced open and when I told her how many times you lied, _she begged me to kill her_ pathetic really" The taunt incited Oliver to swing his fists again but Ra's caught them easily, turned the fists till he could hear a loud _crick_ and dropped them, as Oliver panted with pain.

Thea couldn't be hurt, shouldn't be. And somewhere inside, a tiny part of him understood this was his own imagination but every time the word Thea came out, his anger took over and the pain festered like a raw open wound as Ra's overtook him and claimed him as his, marking each sliver of his boy in red welts placed in strategical stripes.

"Poor old Thea" Ra's said again and Oliver yelled, his breath coming in short wheezes now, the pain in his body and mind depleting in himself, as his vision grew fuzzy from pain.

"I've killed her" Ra's whispered before Oliver gladly let the dark take him where he could feel no pain, or at least feel none of the guilt that crippled him surer than a bullet to his kneecap. ___________

Oliver woke to a steady pounding. After checking his head, he realized the pounding was a physical entity and seemed to be emanating from the training compound. _Wha-?_ "Shit, Thea" he said, hurriedly getting up before stumbling over, oh god his body felt worse than the aftermath of the _real_ fight with Ra's Al Ghul.

Oliver exhaustedly undid the bolt and slumped to the side, wincing as his legs made contact with the hard ground.

Thea staggered out and Oliver quelled the rush of blood in his head as relief when she threw herself upon him, both of them visibly shaking and groaning from their wounds as the still woods around them seemed to absorb their pain.

Oliver watched Thea peel her head away from his shoulder after sometime and he was frightened to see she was shaking still and Oliver got nervous, hoping she wasn't shaking from drug withdrawal or something.

"I thought - " Thea gasped, her eyes wild, her hair in complete disarray, her cheeks flushed with blood and probably something else. Her neck had scratch marks on it and Oliver wondered what she'd really seen. "It felt so real" she breathed at last, slipping to the side to sit next to Oliver, breathing heavily although she still shook slightly.

"Yeah" Oliver said, trying for a smile and failing through his busted lip. "It does tha-" And then he doesn't speak because well, because Thea is kissing him and he really can't do anything but stay still and wonder if she's still under the drug, if she's still in her fantasy world. Her lips are soft against him, inordinately gentle and suddenly Oliver snaps out of his funk and pushes her away, ignoring the tingle in his lips as she left his.

"What the?" he demanded, looking at Thea who just looked looked relieved and very messed up at the same time.

"Just needed to see for real" she mumbled cryptically and Oliver gave her what was supposed to be a glare and which he was pretty sure turned out to be a sympathetic glance instead. She dropped her head down suddenly,and went completely still, leaning heavily against Oliver.

"Woah Speedy, save it for the tent. No sleeping outside unless you want bugs everyhwere" And Oliver refused to think about the feel of Thea's lips on him, it was weird, definitely _weird_ for both of them but Oliver just shoved away his haphazard thoughts before gently letting Thea lean on him although she protested once she saw his injuries.

They both hobbled on each other, their wounds hanging like a torch over both of them, the smell of their exertion and their blood thick in the air around them. And once they reached the tent, they both flopped in the sleeping bags and ignored the blanket, somehow remembering to pull up the zipper on their tent before passing into a deep sleep.

* * *

Oliver woke up in the middle of the night, glanced over to Thea immediately and after ascertaining she was safe, climbed out of the bag quietly. Thea rolled over and Oliver froze but she just gripped his ankle before muttering something sleepily.

Oliver grinned, which did hurt and gently removed Thea's hand before climbing outside and breathing in deep as the chill of the island hit him .

It was unusual to not have Slade standing in wait for him to take over the shift and even more unusual because he felt like he'd been beaten up over and over. Oliver stretched, ignoring the pulsing in his wounds as his scars throbbed in pain.

He checked himself over in the light of the full moon and realized, _whoa_ hallucination or not, Ra's Al Ghul had managed to bash him up pretty hard. His fists were caked with blood somehow and Oliver figured he must've been aiming at a tree when he thought he was aiming at Ra's.

His legs seemed fine although when Oliver pulled off his trousers to check, they were half drenched with sweat and brushes mottled his kneecaps instead. Oliver hissed in pain as he dipped his hands into the spring water, wallowing at the pleasure of seeing smooth skin after he'd rinsed off. He sighed, standing up knowing he had to clean up Thea and waking her up would be difficult.

He trekked back to their tent relatively silently, glancing up to see - the flap was open and fluttering in the wind.

Oliver's heart stopped for a minute before he yelled out "Speedy?! Speedy where are you?!" A hand laid on his shoulder and Oliver almost jumped before grabbing Thea and shaking her slightly. "Where the hell did you go?" he asked her, growling in her face which still looked pale in the light.

"Just natural functions, Ollie jeez I didn't mean to-" Oliver pulled her in for a hug and held her tightly releasing her at once when she let out a cry of distress as he put inadvertent pressure on her wounds. "Oh god, we are getting you cleaned up right now." Thea looked up at him half sleepily, fluttering her eye lids. "Ollie-" "No speedy, we're doing this now" he said in that tone, the same tone he probably promised sometime or the other he'd never use on her but right now he didn't really want to give her the choice she'd take instead of the choice she should.

He led her to the pool, climbing over the rocks and getting Thea to sit next to him before taking her hand in his, observing the way they seemed to be covered with blood like his, although hers held lacerations that would probably take time to heal instead of his, which would give up and just scar instead.

"Hey, you know If I don't do this, you can get infected " he said, dipping Speedy's hand resolutely into the water and holding it there even when she gave out a similar hiss like he'd done before.

Oliver caught her other hand and knelt in front of her, taking her other hand and dipping it in the cool water as well, noticing she was slightly shivering as he did so.

"Cold?" he asked and Thea nodded, "I'll get a blanket" he said, standing up when Thea tugged on his hand and pulled him down to her. "Just" she said and gestured next to her wordlessly.

Oliver strained until he was pressed up against her side so her head rested on his chest. "D'you want me to sing a lullaby?" he asks, semi serious but Thea snorts on laughter and whispers sarcastically "You made a joke Ollie, I'm so proud of you" and he doesn't respond, mussing her hair although it already was matted and dirty.

Her breathing felt labored and in this time of night, both of them fell half asleep before Oliver realized he was supposed to be cleaning Thea's wounds and woke her up gruffly, astonished to feel so happy with Thea, god why hadn't he bonded with her earlier, it felt surprisingly good.

And for a moment as Oliver contemplated the face of his sister, so sweet and innocent as she half slept, her lips lopsided in her sleep and so delicate and her gaze unfocused and just _so trusting_ when she looked at him, Oliver wondered if they were too close, if he was confusing closeness for _something else_ .

He hesitated in his train of thought before noticing a circle of red on her shoulder which he hadn't noticed before. "Thea!" he scowled admonishing and she snapped awake, almost comical in the way her eyes opened wide, shining darkly and her hands fluttering about uselessly until she went upright. "Ollie?" she asked and her tone sounded half exasperated and half frustrated. "I was finally getting to the good part in my dream" she huffed and yawned and Oliver watched with panic when she stiffened.

"When were you going to tell me about your shoulder?" he asked, demanded really and she rolled her eyes before slipping her shirt to the side to allow him to clean it properly.

Oliver frowned at her and reached for a cloth in their supply bag before dipping it in the cool water and laying it on Thea's shoulder, she squeaked at the cold and Oliver frowned when he realized the wound was lower than he thought.

"You might need to uuh - " and Thea god bless her, understood. She crossed her arms, wincing and began to pull off her shirt, avoiding Oliver's gaze as he quickly mapped her body for any more injuries. Her stomach was bare although it did look toned _and very nice_ Oliver chased away the thought before taking in the rest of her, worried at her shoulder wound, which seemed to extend to her well. . . . chest.

"How'd you get this?" he asked and Thea gave him a wry smile. "I probably tried to shoulder smash my opponent and got shoulder smashed myself instead. Those bamboo walls are pretty strong" she snarked.

Oliver frowned at her again and dipped the cloth again before cleaning out her wound thoroughly, tracing the soft skin on her shoulder before it met the more rugged ends of the skin, where she'd ripped it.

He refuses to feel strange when he goes lower and wipes the cloth on the slope of her beasts, wetting her bra in the process because it's Thea he's talking about here, his dorky sister who was never even supposed to have a woman's body. She doesn't notice though and her eyes are closed when he swipes over the gentle swell of her chest again, thankfully above her bra as he efficiently cleans it, aware of Thea trusting him enough to do this, her lips in a tight line because of the pain and her eyes still closed. The whole thing's much more intimate than Ollie expected, and he watches her quietly, worry at her wounds soothed for now as he notices she didn't really sustain as much as him. She's leaning back against the ground, supported by her arms and Oliver wonders how different the sight of her, stretched out and half naked would look like to anyone else who walked past.

The thoughts do nothing to chase away the inherent feeling of _something else_ and Oliver pats Thea on the cheek. "All done" he says, turning around to give her some amount of privacy before she squeaks in pain and he turns around immediately, finding her stuck in her shirt. "Help" she growls at him when he's about to laugh, busted lip or not this was funny.

He pulls down the shirt carefully avoiding touching her although his cheeks burn as he realizes just how much of his sister he'd just seen and just how his body had reacted like any other red blooded male would've in his place.

Thea doesn't seem at all awkward though and he's happy at that although she gives him another one of her unreadable glances before looking away and tugging her pants up in order to look at her legs.

"I seemeed to have avoided bruising my legs although my knees don't feel too good " she pronounced finally after washing her face once again. " Ugh, what I'd do for a nice long shower eight now" she groaned. "You could join me" she says in a heavily affected seductive tone and Oliver chokes on his own breath as she laughs loudly, the sound once again carrying across the forest clearly and Oliver reigns in the automatic urge to banter with her instead of remaining quiet because well, it felt inappropriate to reply.

He herds Thea back to camp once they're somewhat dried off, still in denial of the fact that Thea _did_ sound unfairly seductive and the length in his pants didn't really get that she was pretending.

Oliver frowned at himself, disgusted yet again. But when Thea gave him her sleepy eyes, that same look of blind adoration she'd been giving him all his life, he didn't hesitate to wrap her in his arms and bring her close to him as they fell asleep, sleeping bags joined together.


	4. Goals Interrupted

Goals Interrupted 

By the time Thea is awake and stretching out her body, wincing at the soreness evident on her shoulder more than anywhere else, Oliver is training, his lithe for disappearing behind the trees as he runs.

Thea is tired, sore and disgruntled. Having her brother back from the hell they were currently stationed on, she couldn't help but marvel at him and how he'd even braved this place and it's harshness.

She yawns, stretching again, highly aware of the bruises that dot her back and which are now making themselves known to her as she'd battled yesterday's - _whoa_

Thea had tried ecstasy and crystal. She'd smoked weed and pot, but nothing felt like Vertigo as she felt it course wildly through her nervous system the previous day and fill her with dread that still flowed like it was pulsing through her veins.

She closed her eyes childishly although none of it could stop the memories from crashing in, the previous night's wonderful tranquility accentuating the horror she'd seen. She saw Ollie pushing her away, she saw herself weak and dumb and she saw Ra's Al Ghul, although she'd never met the man, so he appeared as a shadowy wraith that kicked her so hard she flew across the room.

Thea knew in all entirety it was herself that had hurt herself, punching bamboo walls instead of the so real fears she saw. Thea smelt smoked salmon in the distance and she smiled at the casual way Ollie had prepared breakfast for her, probably not even bothering to wake her up before he went fishing. Her stomach rumbles and Thea scowls in exhaustion, slumping back on the sleeping bag, rubbing her face into its softness and smelling Oliver, his nice pine scent that just smelt so strong and safe and familiar.

"Rise and shine speedy" he said and Thea didn't lift her head up, moaning like she was tired. She knew it swayed Oliver when he stood still at the entrance and knelt before her instead of trying to drag her out of the covers.

" _Speedy_ " he said, voice pained and she took pity at his exasperated tone, rolling away from the bag and holding herself up, moving away the hair on her face as she supported herself with her uninjured hand to look at Oliver, who was currently very sweaty and very shirtless.

 _Ulp_ she swallowed, all teasing notions of thought gone from her head as she scanned him all over again, similar to the way she'd seen him a long while ago, the day he'd come back, swallowing tightly as she placed her fingers against a few new scars. She does the same thing again now, and pauses at familiar indentations in his skin, wondering idly if she was brave enough to ask for their stories. His breath hitches at some spots but he's otherwise silent and in the quiet, Thea gains enough courage to ask him a question. "This seems deep, what's the story? she said, ghosting her fingers across one of the seemingly new ones, surprised to see Oliver actually wince.

She pulled her hand away immediately, scared of the way the wound still seemed to hurt. "Why didn't you say anything from practice, Ollie?! This was new wasn't it?" He looks too ashamed or sheepish or something to answer her and she places a kiss on his cheek before hugging him, making sure to avoid the particular patch near his left lung.

"You idiot" she says fondly and shakes her head after climbing out, aware that she wasn't really uncomfortable with his smell and checking her own wound in the sunlight.

"Let me" Oliver sighed and Thea bit back the _you just want to see me naked_ excuse she would've used on anyone before. But this was Ollie, her big brother and Thea really wasn't sure he was ready to hear about her less than sisterly feelings for this handsome stranger who hadn't seen her grow up. The ew factor wasn't there for her, and this new Ollie was caring and _frankly, pretty hot_ the naughty part of her managed to bite out. She smirked at Oliver who was trying to clean the wound futilely at the shoulder before she regained her previous courage and slipped her shirt off.

It's different taking off her clothes in front of him in the daylight and this time her wound isn't throbbing so much as to separate her heart beating from her brother seeing her without her shirt.

She knows she's being melodramatic, this isn't more skin than what she'd show wearing a bikini for example, but the difference is just there somehow and it feels awkward when Oliver stands in front of her in order to reach efficiently and she's gratified to see he's not unaffected by the red flush evident on the back of his neck.

"Just a bit more" he says and swipes at the join of her neck with an antiseptic pad before pressing down on the wound and well , that hurts a lot so Thea let's out a tiny squeak and Oliver looks so sad so she grips his other wrist reassuringly before he's panning the cloth down and hesitantly grips her waist for a tighter grip before he touches the swell of her beast with the cloth, cleaning her as efficiently as he did before.

Thea is shocked at his hand there, almost hovering, almost non existent as it doesn't even feel like he's touching her waist. It sends a strength of solidarity through her at his touch and Thea is amused and shocked to see she's turned on at that briefest of touches.

The wound hurts less now, although it is _sore_ and Thea really knows she has nothing else to loose so she casually looks at Ollie while he's concentrating on wrapping her shoulder with a makeshift cotton bandage.

His scars seemed to have faded and his hands just look mangled so Thea feels a certain amount of guilt that she's letting him take care of her instead of letting her taking care of him. She glanced down for a second, not really sure what she's looking for until she notices Oliver's half hard. The thought makes her pause and suddenly lay stiff which Oliver mistakes for pain so he gently pats her waist again before going back to the bandage. Thea registers an "it'll be over soon" faintly in the back of her head but the rest of her feelings are awash in a startling shade of red as she realizes _her brother's hard, Oliver is hard_ . She clenches her fist, ignoring the pain as she reasons with herself that it's probably a dude thing to be hard in the mornings or maybe he was just exulted from training or maybe it was just honest to god random.

Anything to let her not get her hopes up.

And she really doesn't mean to say anything but her eyes flicker up and Oliver is just so there so she doesn't think before saying anything. "Oliver do you think I'm pretty?" and she can see the question affects him as he stutters in his smooth practiced moments before giving her a quick smile.

"Of course, you're my _sister_ " Thea nods, afraid to look down, afraid of pushing him wondering if he'd leave like he did in the Vertigo induced hallucination. "After all" he adds and they both laugh although it feels like a forced oversight, and Oliver's tone, she notices isn't very jovial.

He pats her other arm when he's done, the cotton bandage wrapping her arm nicely and she's surprised at how well he'd done it, leaving her arm enough mobility to move around.

She stalks forward suddenly, grabbing onto Ollie's hand. "Let me take care of you" she says and he looks down for a moment so Thea's suddenly aware she's still without her shirt and they both blush as Oliver shakes his head and turns around. Thea rolls her eyes at his false modesty before pulling on her shirt and smacking Oliver lightly on the head, wanting the sudden irritating tension to disappear.

He turns around and smiles sadly and even though his expression is woebegone, Thea's proud she made him smile like she never sees him smile at anyone.

"Training grounds, so warm up, eat the food and get there" he said and Thea sighs dramatically before agreeing, setting off to her tent but not before attacking Oliver with a brief hug.

He'd be getting way more of those from now on, she firmly decided. Maybe it was the way he blushed every single time, that made it pretty worth it although the one thing she wanted to know was if he was still hard.

 _Shit_ she thought, she was in so much trouble and as Oliver trekked off, still very shirtless, she realized she wanted him, realized she might as well accept the feeling since she'd been feeling it since day one of his return. "Fuck" she moaned, changing in the privacy of her tent before wondering how to beat Oliver at training because desire or not, she still wanted to be strong. ______ Oliver didn't go any easier on her than he'd done yesterday and when she's trapped for the fourth time underneath him, her muscles quivering as she regains her breath and stays in the same position longer, she blows on his face, a trick that doesn't even faze him this time, instead he's blowing at her back and she giggles, the tension of the battle letting go as she realizes she wouldn't be beating him this time.

He smiles at her easily and for a moment Thea's tempted to reach up and kiss him, just to see how he'd react and then no, no bad brain because this is her brother and just because he wasn't there when she's growing up doesn't make it okay for her to have feelings about him.

He let's off of her and Thea's struck by the doubt she's been holding in ever since they arrived. She sits up, tucking her chin between her knees as Oliver brings her water. "I don't really get the point of this Ollie , what're we going to have to do to get over our fears?" He's pacing now, his muscles flexing underneath his shirt and Thea suddenly has a hard time maintaining her composure as he's sweating and when he removes his shirt to reveal - oh she was in _so much trouble_.

Oliver gives her a smile, but it comes out like a particularly nasty grimace and Thea frowns at his bust lip that marred his face and didn't let him look happy.

"Is it more vertigo?" she asks and Oliver shakes his head and Thea gets that same feeling she always gets when she realizes Oliver is trying to lie to her. _trying_ being the operative word.

"Ollie, What is it?" she asks, in a tone that really reminds her of Moira, and _really reminds of her trying not to think about that_ and Oliver turned around, scratching his neck, his abs glistening in the light as he bends down to crouch with her.

"I think it's time we called Merlyn" he said cryptically.

"It's something I'm not going to enjoy, Ollie? Right?"

He nods, his expression pained and Thea wishes he'd smile more because really, this depressed version of Ollie is someone she's not really used to and doesn't exactly fancy. She ruffles his hair again before he catches her in her arms and then he's messing her hair up even more than his, so of course it turns into a contest with both of them trying to see whose hair they could ruffle up the most.

It's funny they end up somehow with Thea pinning Oliver to the wall and raking his hair up with both of her fingers so Oliver takes the moment to spin thrm around to slam Thea against the wall to reciprocate and it's at this moment that Malcolm chooses to make himself known.

"I see you're training heavily" he drones and Thea just twitches very visually in embarrassment as Oliver gets off of her as quickly as if he's burned himself. They both separate and Thea feels really awkward, like a kid that got caught with her hand in a cookie jar.

"You" Oliver said awkwardly, tucking his hands in his pockets, staying a very conspicuous foot away from Thea. "We were training" she said sulkily, aware that wasn't really the best thing she could've said. Aware that it wasn't really the best thing she _should've_ said.

Oliver gave her a small frown and she realized he was thinking the same thing so she kept her head down for some reason, not wanting to talk to anyone at that particular moment. And really not wanting to talk to Merlyn who she actually thought had _loved_ her.

"Malcolm. We need to talk" Oliver said and whoo, but Thea would've been happy if they didn't have to.

"Fine" the dark Archer says and folds his hand while leaning onto one of the bamboo walls. "Shoot" he said grinning at his pun.

Thea gave a glance at Ollie. He nodded.


	5. Metaphysical Remains

Metaphysical Remains

Thea is stunned at the way Malcolm so easily seems to acquiesce. She cricks her neck, knowing that Malcolm, her father, _the man she trusted so foolishly_ was watching her intently in that uncomfortable way like he always did.

Oliver was shrugging into his shirt and Malcolm was just _there_ , silent in his black outfit , his face dark with some kind of anticipation. Thea felt sick with distress as she wrung her hands and watched Oliver give her a watery smile as he walked forward, eyes straight to at her father, who still didn't look anything that out of the ordinary in this place.

The phrase "a lion in a tiger's den" came to mind as well as a few other cuss words when Thea realized Malcolm wasn't here to look harmless.

She wanted to shout out to Ollie but it was too late. And Oliver had seen it coming anyway, so when he duck Malcolm's punch, he rolled away from him instead, clutching his neck. Oliver still regained momentum and now Thea was running forward, although she felt like she was wading through quick sand as she rushed forward to catch Ollie, whose face was now turning an alarming shade of purple.

"I had to do it" Malcolm says and there's something like sadness in his face before he turns and disappears,somehow exiting the grounds so fast that she doesn't see where he's going.

"Ollie" Thea cried and she was frightened at her own voice, so fragile and high sounding as she gathered him into her lap and reached for her water bottle.

"Ollie you gotta tell me how you feel right now, what I can do or if I should go after - " she's unsure she wants to even mention Malcolm, knowing she's practically babbling in panic and everything she knows about venom and poison giving her little thought as she hoists Oliver up on her knees, making sure he's breathing evenly before she searches for the wound with one hand and pressing the other hand onto his forehead, which felt like palming a furnace oven. He groaned once.

"It isn't a killing drug." Thea sighed in relief. Oh god Oliver was going to be okay, he was going to be alright.

"What the hell was it then?" she asked nervously, tipping the water bottle to give him a drink as he gulped and shifted his head into her lap, face noticeably back to a normal state. It felt surprisingly intimate, holding onto her big brother like this and Thea revels in the rare feeling before he speaks and his breath is warm across her face as she bends down to listen.

"What did you say Ollie?" she asks, mussing up his hair again,the gesture as general and comforting to both of them. "It's a uh. . . well. . " " What Ollie?"

He gets up then and walks awkwardly away and Thea feels a pang at the loss of contact and an achy feeling in her chest that she shouldn't be having. He leans over the door and winces and Thea's quick to her feet as she places a hand on his back and is greatly surprised to hear him groan.

And it's odd that Thea's brain doesn't catch up until much later that with her small hand splayed on the back of Ollie, he just let out a groan. A groan that sounded decidedly _sexual_ in nature.

It should be something she should be able to needle Oliver about for years, to tease him because hell, why not but it's something else entirely and the tension in the air thickens as she moves away, noticing Oliver pushes back minutely before realizing what he'd done and going back to wincing. "Ollie, you're making me nervous, so please, just tell me what's wrong?" a muscle jumped in Oliver's cheek as he half turned to her, his feet firmly planted on the outside of the bamboo hut.

"It's personal, I can't" And then Thea gets mad because she's pretty sure if he wanted to he'd tell her, he told her he was the frickin arrow for God's sake! So she spins him around, knowing he isn't expecting it and observes his face quickly, scanning her eyes down until she suddenly, gets a very visual sight of what exactly the drug did.

" _Oh!_ " she says and the high pitched tone is so hilarious that she laughs at herself, knowing Ollie is burning in embarrassment in front of her, lamely trying to cover himself by turning away.

"So he gave you the blue pill or what?" she groans, clutching her stomach as her body shakes with laughter.

Oliver is still half turned away and like the annoying little sis she is, she had to push him a little.

"It's just gonna wear off! It ain't like I never saw a dick before!" she laughs and doesn't really see when Oliver snaps.

He's turning around, and Thea's far too gone in her mirth to notice that he's no longer hiding his emotions, to notice that his emerald green eyes are unusually dark, flashing in the changing lights of their training hut.

He slams her against the wall and she feels the bamboo digging in and Thea's pretty sure the weakness in her knees right then is from being scared of her big brother and not any other terrible thing that shouldn't be coursing through her body as Oliver puts his head up right against her face and the saying _predator hunts prey_ also really shouldn't be running across her body as he shoves her higher up the wall by her shoulders, her feet almost leaving the ground barely touching as he skims the skin on her neck, breathing in her scent.

"Ollie" she says breathlessly, astonished at him, at the way she felt so happy and loose in that moment. It felt like she'd let him do anything to her, _anything_ as he stopped smelling her and stared at her, his fingers tightening on her waist, probably leaving bruises.

Her shoulder protested at the discomfort but she really wasn't paying attention to anything but Oliver's eyes and his face, oh god so familiar and just so different. He raises his face to hers once again and Thea is struck by the pure longing on his face that's never been directed towards her before and she flushes when the look sends a tinge of pleasure right across her body.

"Stay away from me today" he gasps out finally and it's like some of the old Ollie returns before he releases her, and Thea almost flops to the floor, breath shuddering and mind working quickly to piece together what had just happened, and what _she was willing to almost let happen_ . He turns around once before taking off, his pine scent still lingering as he runs out, probably to burn himself out as Thea straightens herself and wonders why the achy feeling in her chest decided to make an appearance again. __________

Thea's pretty sure her brother is running laps around the base, probably waiting until his err. . condition cooled off.

The whole thing was still inescapably funny and Thea giggled, idle curiosity wondering how he looked down there, how he was in bed. Woah, nope, shouldn't be going there. Then again, this is the Ollie she doesn't really remember and then again he's never been more awkward with her and the whole thing is really tickling Thea's funny bone because well, it was just _funny_

And Thea ignores the little episode at the end because sometimes, she's just great at denial, especially when it let's her act normal and sane instead of someone with a big crazy crush on their older brother.

Hero worship was one thing, Arrow worship was another but this, _Jesus God_ this was going to get Thea in trouble that she couldn't ever claw her way out of.

She doesn't think about the way Oliver must look right now, probably sweaty and hot and she doesn't think about it because it would be wrong. She doesn't think about it all.

And when Thea later asks herself why she thought it was a good idea to go looking for Ollie, she doesn't really have an answer to that.

Of course, it's ridiculous that fate and destiny decided to fuck with her life because there, right there in front of the hut, her brother is standing still, so still that for a moment Thea's afraid something happened.

She avoids looking directly at him and walks slowly, making sure to be as conspicuous as possible until she's in front of him. His eyes are closed but Thea can see his whole body taut and fright with tension, his body still wet with sweat and the thin undershirt he wore probably giving him miniscule cover against the chill that's slowly creeping in on the island.

Thea wishes absentmindedly that she bought a watch, wondering what time it was as the atmosphere grew colder and the sun dipped lower, casting a pallid grey cover over everything.

"C'mon Ollie" she whispers and Oliver seems to not hear her so Thea snaps finally and reaches out to tug him with her and she doesn't expect him suddenly lashing out at her, his eyes wide with the drugs effects so he effectively pushes her into the ground and he's shaking as hard as she's never seen before.

"Ollie" she says softly, worried at the wild look in his eyes as he stares at her helplessly. "You've got to" he huffs and it's clear he's frustrated with something, the tendon in his forehead throbbing with emotion as Thea processes the fact that the drug seems to be much stronger than she'd anticipated.

"I might rape you" he says and his voice is so soft it takes Thea a few seconds to place him as he says it so she's stuck in the ground still, feeling wildly out of place as he tightens his eyes shut, clearly worried about what she thought.

 _You can't rape the willing_ Thea thought darkly and rises up, some sort of unknown courage brewing in her as she holds Oliver's hand again and watches him shrink visibly, watches his body turn away although his hand tightens upon hers.

She means to say okay and run the hell out of there but for some reason she blurts out "I want you, it's okay" and as soon as the words are out it seems like Oliver's reached an impasse and he's picking her up as if she weighs nothing more than a feather.

Thea is too surprised at him to let out a protest, cry, heck even react and it all feels like a blur, and she's inside the training hut now, and then she really can't think with Oliver's hands grasping her around the waist and approaching closer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes about 9000(?) words into the story, it finally gets a little hot. ;} Maybe dub connish, so a little warning guys.

Cupid, Stupid

Oliver's got her pinned up against the wall now, staring at her hot and furious and hungry and wild and just so freaking intense it makes her shiver. Thea's heart is pounding hard all of a sudden and her chest is tight with emotion, and she's godawful actually dripping, her whole body just aching for it. For Oliver. She's aware that Oliver is in front of her, his face so handsome and open and frankly, dangerous but it's more shocking when he tilts his head and closes in on her and oh god, she's kissing him again.

Kissing Oliver.

And, yeah, as far as kissing goes, this is the ultimate Thea's ever experienced. Oliver's hot and hard against her and he has her hoisted up off the floor, her legs wrapped around his waist, as he grinds up against Thea like he wants to fuck her through her clothing. Like maybe he actually can.

Thea's clasping one huge shoulder and one bicep and moaning helplessly against Oliver, squirming and shuddering against him, impossibly turned on as her terrible fantasy comes true. He's deep in the drug's influence right now and it feels so inappropriate that Thea wonders for a moment if she's the one taking advantage of _him_ , although God forgive her, she never wanted him to stop kissing her.

He pulls away suddenly and Thea's startled, straining against his grip to reach him again, cheeks awash with red.

"Thea I'm sorry you need to do something now, I can't I can't - "he looks so broken and Thea knows this is the time for her to be responsible, for her to get a clue and knock him in the balls maybe but there are parts of his body that she's smashed up to now that feel _way too pleasant_ and she really doesn't think she'll ever get the chance again.

So she doesn't do the right thing and leans in again, capturing Ollie's mouth, chasing away the protest that arose in him before he succumbs to the drug again, twisting his tongue inside of her mouth as he clutches the back of her neck in a hard grip.

Oliver's hips grind against Thea again, and she watches as he leans in and nips his throat, and finds out she can make some very embarrassing noises. “I'm sorry” Oliver rasps, but the breathy voice really doesn't do anything to it expect make him sound every more sexier so Thea chases away the anxiety in his words by pressing up against him, desire coiling low in her belly as she realizes, God she might cut from just this as she moans out a loud "Yes!" biting the dip on Ollie's neck so he'd get the message.

“Fuck, yes,” she gasps again, shuddering as Oliver's mouth is on hers again, hot and fierce and possessive and she's crying with how much it makes her feel wanted and _hot_.

“Need to fuck you,” he says, between kisses. “Need to fuck you right through the mattress, baby sis, god. I can't control it anymore"

“Ollie, please,” Thea moans, and she would be embarrassed at how nakedly needy she sounds like, but apparently she's lost the capacity to feel embarrassed or shame about anything in this moment.

Oliver separates from her for a tiny second and his eyes gleam as they land on a mattress they used for training. He just walks over with Thea wrapped around him, and drops her down onto the mattress.

Thea just lies there, still shocked she's doing this and still guilty at the fact that she's somehow making Ollie do it. "It's okay, Ollie. I love you I love you so much" she says and Ollie's gaze darkens as he looms over her, his eyes dark with intent, his body shivering with want and drug coursing through him as he leans in and kisses her again, hot and claiming her deeply, devouring her until all she can feel is nothing but the tingle of his lips on hers as he desperately tries to grip and grope every inch of her body, his weight settling down on hers and Thea's surprised at how secure the feeling is.

Oliver takes his shirt off and for a moment Thea's fully aware that she's dressed and though some sick part of her wants Ollie to rip her clothes off and rut against her like a caveman, she buries the impulses before hurriedly pulling off her shirt, tugging off her jeans at the same time Oliver's tugging his off and woah, she figures he never needs to be embarrassed at anything because in front of her is evidence that would put _all her boyfriends to shame_

Oliver doesn't speak but kisses down Thea's chest, towards the slope of her breasts, and his breath tickles. “I love you, Thea,” he says in a broken voice and Thea feels fucked up when she can feel his mouth on her skin.

She's going to fuck her big brother. He's going to fuck her, albeit less willingly than she was.

She's astounded because before all this shit with the Arrow, it would never in a million years have crossed her mind to think of Ollie like this. She's wondering if she's made the choice that was never hers when Oliver suddenly shivers again and it's almost like the drug is somehow controlling him when he bends down and oh god, he's finally going down on her and Thea moans at the feeling because she never thought she'd want something like this.

Oliver's kneeling between her legs and licking at her and oh sweet jesus, she wonders if this is why Oliver always had a long line of lovers, because this is well, he's good at this. Really astonishingly good.

Jesus. Thea wants this, wants this so much that it makes her toes curl to think of that just as much as the demanding pressure of Oliver's tongue and teeth.

It takes an embarrassingly short time before she's is coming, her thighs tightening around Ollie's head, her whole body flushed and shuddering and just lost to the world, lost to everything beyond this overwhelming sensation, beyond his mouth against her. She's aware that she's breathing like she's run a marathon and the grip she has on Oliver's soft hair must be hurting him.

She sprawls there, gasping and shaking, sweat beading her skin, every nerve-ending blissfully alight, and watches as Oliver rises up over her and for a moment she's struck by how huge he is and how the bloody Island seemed to have carved him into an honest to God, _beauty_

Thea's wondering if it'll hurt because woah, Oliver is just huge in that aspect but she can't really find it in herself to protest, she's wet and aching, and just so hot for Oliver to fuck her and she can't help wonder why she never did this before.

Oliver looks broken for another second before the drug seems to overtake him again and Thea almost screams at his expression, because she's pretty sure that he still thinks he's raping her, and she can't let him do that, not after that brilliant orgasm.

So she holds herself up on her elbows and grasps Oliver's head down to plant her mouth on his for a searing kiss. It's funny because the drug seems to take a stronger hold on him only when she's touching him so she wraps her legs around his body, pressing every part of herself against him, nipples tingling with pleasure as what little chest hair he has abrades roughly over her.

She knows he's adjusting herself as his hands go down there below and she thinks it's going to hurt but she can't find the energy to care, because Oliver's looking at her this time, and it seems like he knows she wants it, _really wants it_ by the way her body is buzzing at the very least and his look holds nothing but compassion and understanding and Thea could sob, would sob at the moment if he hadn't done something completely unexpected.

“Thea” Oliver says, almost a growl, running his other hand down over her torso, palm sliding against one nipple and down to dip between her thighs, where Thea is positively dripping, and rubbing Thea's sensitized clit hard.

“Fuck!” Thea gasps, all articulate-like, and then Oliver pushes her down roughly and she bounces for a minute on the mattress, legs sprawled wide before him and she's staring glassy eyed at Oliver, fixed on him as he guides his hard cock into place, pausing briefly on the brink and leaning in to catch Thea's mouth in a fiercely hungry, burning kiss. And then Thea loses all amount of thinking as Oliver groans hoarsely and then thrusts his whole length inside, hard.

”Fuck!” Thea screams again, the word torn out of her as she's slammed down into the mattress by Oliver's weight. The sensation of him inside of her so suddenly, so completely is just totally overwhelming, and kind of devastating.

There's something a little like pain, but Thea's not really put off by minor discomfort these days, (not after Merlyn) and it's not enough to make her object as Oliver slams in deep and hard and frantic, his hips snapping, all his restraint suddenly gone out the window, all his over protectiveness forgotten as he plunges in and out and in again, like he's trying to break through Thea's skin and climb inside.

And then it's almost like fighting, like some kind of competition, and they're straining against one another, touching and tasting and thrusting and flexing, and Thea's clinging on for dear life, like she never wants to let go - and Oliver is nothing like the brother she's always known – always thought she knew – and Thea doesn't know whether it's the drug or whether it's just that she's never been aware that Oliver can be like this too, fierce and hungry and uncareful, unapologetic.

It's surprising to her that this is what she's never experienced because there's just so much overwhelming and when he tilts his hips to touch her just there, somewhere inside, Thea almost breaks, whispering his name over and over.

“Ollie,” she gasps, brokenly, because that's almost the only word she can remember right now. “Ollie , god, Ollie!”

He kisses her again, biting her lip so hard Thea's pretty sure he left a bruise. “Thea, so sorry,” says Oliver, but the feeling doesn't really register within her because he's also glaring into Thea's eyes as he grinds into her.

Thea feels like her heart is going to burst. “Yes,” she says shakily, with Oliver, her fucking big brother, emphasis on the big, buried in her up to the hilt, Oliver's eyes are inches away and she squeezes his biceps hard and tries to tell him that's it's okay. Oliver thrusts very hard and it's like Thea's collided with a freight train because she's just that fucking close and then he's leaning down and that's it, she's screaming and comes again very soon after that, and Oliver follows a few moments later and collapses on top of her, heavy as a giant and pinning Thea in place. She's surprised she kind of likes being crushed down under the panting weight of all Oliver's sweat-slick muscles and bones, feeling his heartbeat through his chest.

“Love you Thea” Oliver says and his voice is thick and raspy, and there's a delicate scratch of stubble as his cheek slides against Thea's skin before he presses a rather uncoordinated kiss onto her forehead.

Thea ignores the panic that's been bubbling in her head because she's sodden with pleasure, still reeling and joyous with this startling sense of being wanted, being loved, of having Oliver all for herself - but she's also starting to feel faintly terrified. Because surely there's no way this can end well and in the morning she'll have to face evidence of what she did.

Also, as soon as they're going back to civilization, she's going to have to look into the morning after pill, because – _not even going there_.

But, still... “Love you too,” Thea says, just as hoarsely, because it's the truest thing in the world, whether it's right or wrong, whether it's going to break her heart, sully her soul or bring about the end of the world.

It's pretty much been what she's been fighting for this whole time what she never wants to lose again. And it scares the crap out of her because now she's pretty sure she can't look at anyone else ever again, _ever_.

“I love you too.”


	7. Get Away With Murder

Get Away With Murder 

Thea wakes up and woah, she's sore in places she didn't even know could be sore and the thought is so surprising so she sits up and moans at the feeling of her muscles clenching and a sharp pain in the back of her neck.

"Ollie?" she whispers, voice hoarse and rough and feels around the mattress for signs of him.

Of course, he isn't there.

"Fuck" Thea moans and gets up, clutching her head as dizziness assaults her and she checks her body.

There are the marks of Ollie's hands on her hips and Thea swallows when she sees them and remembers how they got there. Her hand flutters hurriedly up to her neck and she can feel the indentations in the skin, slight depressions that showed just how much last night had affected her.

She's still observing them as she pulls on her shirt and fastens her jeans before climbing outside, hoping to god Oliver hadn't run away or done something drastic

The heat is mild and it makes her even more dizzy, the sun is beating down on her as she scans the ground.

Their tent looks unruffled and Thea sighs wistfully as she dreams of coffee and other pleasant things. Then she's scanning the horizon and her gaze lands on him. She swallows hard, the hoarseness in the back of her throat just another reminder of what she wasn't sure she wanted to analyze too deeply.

She spies him sitting down next to the lake, his muscles gleaming in the hot sun and Thea realizes it's almost noon. He's washing up, and his back is to her but since he's the frickin arrow, he notices her climbing over to him, and he turns around before Thea even knows what she's going to say. His expression looks so ashamed that Thea is stunned and scared, and his face looks like he'd been crying about what they'd done. What she'd enjoyed.

"Ollie?" she says hesitatingly and Oliver's eyes narrow as he forces himself to look up. "I understand if you never want to see me again" he says quietly and the tone is so full of pain that Thea takes a quick step back. "Please don't wander around the island though, because I did set it up with traps" He says again and Thea gives out an automatic 'okay' before he turns around and woah, she hasn't seen him this broken since their mother died.

"Ollie, what we did last night - " "It's my fault" he whispers and closes his eyes and Thea's getting a little ticked off because she's pretty sure she remembers screaming like he rocked her world, which really, he had.

"Ollie, I'm pretty sure last night wasn't your fault, if it was anyone's, it's probably mine" and she stops there because he looks murderous and she's scared for a minute before he stands up and turns around, facing her. "I'm so sorry, Thea, I should've controlled myself, I'm your _big brother_ and I fucked up" And Thea's still shocked, so the build up to the inevitable momentum takes her some time and this time she's walking towards him, taking tiny baby steps towards him. She's careful in choosing her words and then softly, "Look Ollie, I know what happened, I was there and _I_ didn't take the damn drug and I - " but Oliver interrupts her "I raped you!" he yells, face stricken and Thea's surprised and glad that it's finally out in the open.

"No you didn't Ollie!" she yells back and they're both just fighting with words because Oliver bites back his words suddenly and then he's just muttering brokenly that he's sorry over and over again.

Thea just wishes Oliver would get the fact that they fucked, cool it was all over (though for her it was much more) and just have Oliver quit with his irritating martyr self loathing crap.

She steps forward, and places an affectionate arm around Ollie and he stiffens when she's on level with him and Thea swears inaudibly, wishing he wasn't just that stubborn so Thea huffs against his ear before leaning in and speaking as eloquently as she can.

"You did not rape me Ollie. I wanted it, I wanted all of it and I'm pretty sure you remember that" He shakes his head, and his eyes are closed tight, face wet with streaks of his tears. "How can you touch me?" he whispers brokenly and Thea's tempted to grab him and kiss him and show how much she _wants to touch him_ .

She's almost deciding she's going to do it but then Oliver turns to face her and he looks so mournful she really doesn't think he'll appreciate the gesture.

"They drugged you too, it must've been those tribal people we ran into" he says, seeming to grasp onto a straw that lets her off the hook, because wow he's her big brother and he really loves her so much that he'd do anything, even implicate himself if it happened to help her.

"No" Thea says quietly, ignoring the building headache she had.

Oliver looks broken all over again before he pulls himself in again.

"I won't touch you again" he says resolutely, almost like he's bowing in apology and Thea's still a teenager and she's just so awash with hormones and decided _want_ that she doesn't really think before she's walking forward and this time, Oliver doesn't look up, the idiot probably thinking she'd slap him.

_As if_ .

She places her hands on his cheek and he looks up and she doesn't really want to think about anything so she leans in, predator fast and she's kissing Oliver.

This time it's better because it's him, _actually him_ and just not Oliver under a drug.

This is her brother she's kissing, his stubble grating her as she licks inside of his mouth and tastes him. He smells like the woodland around them and he's just so _manly_ which, for something so archaic, is giving her a surprisingly heady feeling.

She's elated and the bruise on her lip burns slightly when she presses hard against Oliver, feeling out of the world as she honest to god, makes out with her brother. But she knows he's hurting now and she breaks apart when she realizes he isn't really reciprocating. He looks stunned, his eyes wide in surprise and his mouth red, because of her and she hides away the giggle that's bubbling inside of her with his expression.

"I wanted it Ollie, and you can't tell me otherwise" she says and the statement sounds reassuringly resolute because she knows she means it.

"I need some time" he says at last and Thea bites her cheek and nods, the ache in her chest returning again as Oliver puts on his figurative mask and turns away. "Where are you going?" Thea asks because it feels like he's abandoning her and the feeling is way too familiar for her to care about. "Going to take a walk, need to clear my head" he says and walks away. And leaves Thea Queen staring after him, alone to wonder what kind of fucked up mess they're in now. 

__________

The man in the suit slips inside the training hut before the targets returned.

He scans the room before hunching down and running his fingers over the rough grooves of the bamboo walls.

"Aha" he says, letting out a satisfied sigh and a nasty grin as he picks out the tiny camera embedded there.

"I've got it Houdini" he whisperers, and pockets the thing carefully in a plastic bag before walking out and sulking out the back door.

It's all fun and games until he's hit with something on the back of his head and pain blooms in his forehead as he falls down, scrabbling at the grass to pull himself up. The smell of blood and rust greet him as his vision blacks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this fic will kill me one day. Sorry guys really sorry about them but I'm pretty sure that Oliver would never be cool with just having it and now even though he knows he has inappropriate feelings for his sister, he didn't really think it'd go game of thrones far, so he's just really in a Bad place. 
> 
> And what in the world is Malcolm Merlyn planning?


	8. Twisted Outright

Twisted Outright 

Oliver really shouldn't think of being alone right now, he really shouldn't be wandering around Lian Yu, avoiding the traps he placed with careful remembrance, astutely ignoring the ache in his chest whenever he thought about Thea. He really shouldn't be wallowing in self hatred, especially not when it wasn't really his fault, he'd seen first hand what the drug had done when Amanda Waller had forced his hand in administering it to one of their prisoners, had been forced to watch as the man had even rutted against the prison wall in order to escape from the painful lust that accompanied him.

He groans at the memory, only half aware as he realized he was worse, he'd oh god, with his baby sister, his _Thea_  
And even now, he can't stay away, it's like they're magnets, because he circles back every five minutes to check in on her, because he's her big brother, goddammit, even after everything that happened and he's determined to keep her safe.

The thought whips itself into his mind before he can stop it.

_Couldn't protect her against you_

And it's only then he allows himself to yell and scream out because he's falling down and punching an oak tree, the dried out skin on it coming off in splinters and raining down upon him as he sinks to the ground on one knee, wishing he could take back everything and wishing he never trusted Malcolm.

"Only chance for Ra's Al Ghul" and hell, he'd bought it hook, line and sinker with a naiveté that probably put even the most innocent Victorian maiden to shame. Oliver covers his face in his hands and lets out a sob before he regains what little amount of control he has, grasping the tree and resting his weight upon it to pull himself upright.

A loud scream shatters the pitiful silence and Oliver's bounding back to their training grounds, heart thrumming with adrenaline and shame coursing through him as he considers the fact that it probably was cause of him that something could've happened to Thea. He's relieved when he reaches the clearing and he ignores the clutch in his heart as he goes over to Thea, whose back is to him and who's standing over a familiar figure.

"Who's that?" he yells, not really expecting Thea to answer. "That guy from before I think" she yells back, turning around to give him a smile like nothing had happened, like he _hadn't fucked her like a madman_

The thought is much too bitter for him to contemplate about and he doesn't manage a grin before carefully stepping in front of the man, who's lying facedown and seeping blood from the back of his neck. "Whoa" he says and notices that the scent of blood immediately surrounds him as he leans down, leaving him nauseous with the strength of it, his muscles straining a little from the duel he had yesterday.

Thea's watching him and the thought sends prickles and shivers down his spine that he doesn't want to acknowledge so he shifts onto his knees before bending down to check the man for something.

"He was snooping round the tent and I already searched him" and Oliver stiffens for a second before she falls silent again. There's something like fright in her voice, like she's wondering if Oliver would go away the moment she said something related to last night.

And it ticks him off, jesus, he's supposed to be the one taking care of her and walking round eggshells around her and the fact that she just seems so calm about all of it makes him want to _do_ something.

So he only grunts as a reply before he's roughly checking the man's damp trouser pockets and finding nothing but a tenner, he prepares himself to turn the man over, not really bothering to be gentle. Thea's silent and he can almost sense her presence and her scent is just floating over to him so Oliver squares his neck before he gives a disdainful glance at the man. The man was pale before, but the blood loss gave him an odd pallor that was completely albinous, so white he looked like a rather poor rendering of a life-sized China doll. His eyes are closed and the only sign he gave of being alive was the rough breathing that came out, occasionally punctuated by a moan. "You hit him good" Oliver chuckles, unable to resist praising his sister as he looks up. Thea is smiling at him and Oliver really feels like he doesn't deserve it, the way she's still open and happy with him. The memory is fresh inside of him and he remembers her smile _at_ him, at _them_ when they - nope, not going down that lane.

"I totally kicked his ass, didn't I?" she laughs and Oliver just returns his gaze to the man, ignoring the pounding beat of his heart and wiping the after effect of sweat off of his brow. He checks the man's front pockets, and then leans in to course through his trouser pockets, not really sure what he was looking for.

"I told you, I looked and there'd been nothing" she says and he frowns. Except for the bloody tenner. And then for some reason Misao's voice is echoing in his mind. _The true bottom is inside of a man's lies_

He reaches inside the pockets of the man, twisting his fingers in order to reach inside the lining, feeling along the seam before - bingo! Oliver smiles in triumph and Thea comes closer to him before inclining her head curiously, shooting him an excited glance.

He fiddles with the seam for another moment, his haunches slowly complaining at the constant state of being in one position before he pulls slightly and then he can feel it, a split in the seam of the fabric. He reaches inside, and his fingers make contact with smooth plastic.

He pulls out a phone enclosed in a plastic bag and gives Thea an uncertain glance. She nods at him as he gets up and he watches her for a second as she efficiently checks over the man's other pockets, searching for more hidden things. He takes it out cautiously, really hoping it's just a phone and nothing else.

The last call is clear on the _calls dialled_ page and he seethes with anger and poorly hidden betrayal when he realizes who it is.

"Thea" he says and she looks up, gaze sunny yet hooded. "We're going back to Starling City today" and the tone says _no arguments_ so of course, Thea's brushing off her jeans as she gets up and heads to their tent.

Oliver whipped back his gaze to the man before heading into the training hut with him, dragging him by the end of his collar as he contemplated the phone in his hand.

He needed reinforcements and he needed them now. And so when Thea stepped out a little while later, fully packed and stocked, Oliver bites back the ache in his chest as he nods at her and gathers the man up, clocking him another in the back of his head to make sure he didn't wake up for their return trek.

He moans loudly and lapses back into unconsciousness so Oliver's left to drag him as Thea turns around and shoulders their packs heading off before he can say a word.

He'll worry about Thea later. But right now, Starling City awaits. And the city needed him.


	9. Something About Us

Something About Us

Oliver shouldn't feel so nervous when crossing over to the city. He's wondering how in the world Thea was so calm, maybe she's still in shock or something. _Or maybe she's in shock because of him_ And he can't help it, the thought has him grimacing, because he can still remember every curve of her body, still remember the - _oh no_ \- Oliver's glancing down casually, thankful that his sister is currently occupied with the stewardess because he had a significant problem in his pants to take care of.

He felt a wave of disgust swamp him. What kind of a bastard would get hard over what was _practically rape?_ The flight starts then, and the sound is much too high and he wonders for a moment how it would feel to get lost in it and to never return.

And then the melancholy chain of thoughts is over and Oliver's breathing slightly easier now, although his conscience would never let him actually breathe easy.

His fingers grip the leather of the seats uncertainly and Thea gives him a lazy smile. "Flying economy sucks" she whispered dramatically. "Now that we're poor" she sighs and Oliver really can't speak because he can't until they'd _talked_ and that was a topic he felt they didn't really do justice to the previous day.

Her smile falters for a moment and Oliver can tell she knows what he's thinking because she reaches out to him, and musses his hair up hesitantly. "Later" she whispers and the promise is just so _Thea like_ that he nods, still feeling terrible about himself.

Although a certain someone would feel even more terrible when they would be done with the Arrow.

So Oliver relaxes for a second, breathing in the compressed air deep as he could, his mind unconsciously formulating escape plans and Thea gasping excitedly at some awful show about an - _was that a sword throne?_ \- so Oliver ignores everything and finally succumbs to the exhaustion that's been nagging at him since their trip.

He likes to think he imagines the feeling of a tiny hand smoothing the hair over his forehead before patting his head to sleep. But he's pretty sure it's another thing he really doesn't deserve.

* * *

"Targets traveling with the chip" a disembodied voice greeted Malcolm as he switched on the boy's phone.

"The camera?" he asks and notices the voice hesitates and he's smacking a hand on his temple when he realized that he'd left the thing much too hidden, although he was glad now at least no one could implicate them but him. "no, still on the man" she says and Malcolm doesn't curse, he's too much of a patient man for it so he terminates the connection before frowning at the empty seat in front of him that his daughter had occupied for months.

He's surprised he feels inordinately put off by the prospect that he'd never see her again when she had left him, her anger at him such a clear thing, her pain at his betrayal a tad too cutting than he'd expected.

He twitches his nose, an annoying habit he picked up somehow in Costa Rica. Malcolm walks over the bench to reach the wine cupboard,deciding he needed something strong.

As he pours the summer liquid into a tumbler and fills it again after downing the whole thing, Malcolm's surprised by the fact that he wants to get drunk.

He resists the urge like everything else and locks the door before leaving the room. He had work to do.

* * *

"Oliver thank god" Felicity's squeaking before she's hugging him tightly, her arms tight around his neck and Oliver winces at her enthusiasm, looking over automatically at Thea who's hugging Roy and Oliver feels an urge to get him off of her but almost slaps himself when he realizes what he's thinking.

Felicity feels him stiffen and she draws back, eyes curious under her glasses, a sight he normally liked but felt too much in confusion to think about today. Diggle is slapping a hand on Ollie's shoulder before he asks the question everyone's clearly dying to ask.

"So did it work? Can you beat Ra's Al Ghul now?" he says and Oliver maintains his poker face which he's pretty sure Diggle can see through although Roy and Felicity swallow it completely, as convinced as if what he spoke was the gospel.

"Yeah. But I'm pretty sure Malcolm's planning something because I found a phone with Roy's number on it" everyone stiffens at the news and the room is suffused with a tension like it did regularly whenever there was a lead.

Oliver tosses out the phone on the desk casually, watching with mild interest as Felicity picks it up and plugs it into her computer, hopping right into her _Tech mode_ as she quickly performed her scans upon it.

"One call" she announced a heartbeat later, her gaze focused on Oliver. He glances at Thea instead. "To Roy's phone" they both say and Roy's face is confused as he digs into his red hoodie, searching the pockets frantically before he's frowning in realization of the fact that they all now knew.

"Malcolm must've took it when I was with Thea" he said and Felicity nodded before moving her chair to the opposite desk, so a drift of her perfume came Oliver's way and he resisted the urge to check on Thea again.

"It's getting late everyone. I need to talk to Thea and you all look tired" he said so Felicity jumped up first, startling everyone as she gathered her things quickly, pressing a combination onto her computer and quickly typing in a code. "We can reverse track the signals so I'll be getting something" she said and Oliver gives her a tight smile which she doesn't return, her face a mask of anger directed at him similar to the one he'd left her with a couple of days ago.

Roy gives them both a strange parting gaze and then he leaves too, patting Oliver on the arm before he goes.

Diggle's the last in the room and he gives a surprised Thea a half hug before he passes Oliver and gives him an amused, meaningful look as he climbs upstairs and out of the _Arrow Cave_ , ugh he didn't know why that name stuck out of everything that could've stuck.

The door to Verdant closes distantly and Oliver's aware of the sudden suffocating silence in the room before he can gain the courage to talk.

When he looks up, Thea is examining his arrow tip collection, smoothing her fingers over each one of them like she actually knew what they did.

"Talk Oliver" she says and her voice is bland so he's not sure if she's mad or sad or finally freaking out over the fact that her brother had raped her. Oliver swallows again, mouth dry as he ponders how to start, crossing his hands before uncrossing them, his eyes fixed on the Arrow suit before he continues, watching his eyes flicker in the glass in front of him.

He's aware of the fact that this is the second important conversation they've had in this way, Thea facing away from him and eventually accepting him eagerly _Thank You Thank you_ still ringing in his ears as he watched her absently now. The probability that she'd greet this new revelation with the same enthusiasm was zero but he was going to try anyway.

"I raped you Thea" he said and the word is so ugly, heavy in the air but he continues stubbornly. "I don't know how you can stand to be in the same room as me but I know I did something horrible and it's killing me and it's probably nothing with how you feel"

The air is silent with his confession, and he's preparing himself for a break from his sister, _his everything_ the only one left of the Queens, his remaining family that he never wanted to let go.

The air feels dry in his room and Oliver feels shocked when Thea lays a hand on his forearm. "Oliver Queen" and that is shocking because she never says his full name, it was always Ollie, or big bro but never, _never_ Oliver Queen.

"When you came back from that island, I was lost. You put me back together again" Oliver wants to interrupt but she holds up a hand and he's silent, pain twisting in his heart as her expression is blank. "When we were on the island, no matter what we did, Ollie. What _I forced you to do_ " and this time Oliver interrupts because she's being ridiculous.

"You didn't force me to Thea. I did everything, the drug pretty much ensures that fact" She rubs at her eyes, and walks closer until their breath is mingling when she speaks,a whisper really, "I wanted it" .

And then Oliver can't breathe because she's laying her hands, decidedly un sisterly like on his chest and swirling her fingers around his nipple, hidden underneath his shirt.

She doesn't do anything else and Oliver is caught in the grip of her confession, because he knows when she's lying and she's not now, so he's a tornado of feelings, of pure love for Thea mixing in with the intimate memory of her smell, and his jaw clenches here - _her taste_ .

"You'll always be my big brother. But I've always loved you more than that" Thea says and she leans forward to hug Oliver tightly, grasping onto his chest, hand splayed out now as she's openly sobbing now, her tears wetting his shirt and her face warm upon his neck,their embrace reminiscent of so many childhood memories, yet still somehow different.

"I wanted you to" she says again and her fingers tighten around his back, near his waist and Oliver wants to wince because he's pretty sure she purposely placed them in the welts _she'd_ made on his back, on _that_ night.

Oliver's shocked, it feels forbidden when he pulls her close, because this is _Thea_ , his _Speedy_ the one girl he loves more than anyone, the one woman who he's never able to deny. And if right now he can't sort out the feelings for her, tangled as they were in a bitter mix of love and desperation, he'd never hesitate to give her the reassurance she needed. And then he's lifting Thea's chin from his shoulder, his fingertips delicate on her as he searches her eyes for signs of resistance.

This is his sister, the girl he missed out on that Island, the girl who had transformed into a woman and left Speedy behind in the shredded tatters of her life. She'd emerged anew, a phoenix rising from the ashes and her eyes sought his with warmth and none of the disgust he expected her to feel.

But he still feels guilty although the guilt's not enough to stop him from doing what he wanted to do. And so his mouth seeks out Thea's as he presses the softest kiss he can, trying to communicate just how deeply he loved her and she's melting in his arms, her lips soft and warm, and just so comfortable that she's suddenly all sobbing and movong underneath his mouth before she breaks apart and burrows into his neck again, her fists needily clutching him.

"Took you long enough" she mumbles, slow and sated, staring up at him with a sleepy grin. And Oliver feels like he should be bursting with joy but he discovers it runs deeper than that, their bond of family giving the feeling a depth he didn't expect and as he gazes into Thea's eyes, he sees their future entwined in one destiny and he can't breathe for the way and the intense need with which he loves her. He died for her, he realized with clarity.

No one could do that for their sister, no one but him really and he thought, as he looked into her face, beaming with happiness, tear streaks dotting her beauty _He'd die for her, no matter how many times he had to_

And she's clutching him tightly, her eyes closed, her breathing warm against his chest.

“So do you wanna go home?” he asks, and chuckles as Thea opens one eye and glares at him. “Mmph Wanna cuddle with my Ollie” and then they're both laughing because that really doesn't sound like her.

“I'll join you after a few. I have _things_ to do” Oliver is confused for a moment before he realizes why she looks mildly embarrassed.

“ _Oh_ ” he says and she nods, her expression a tad frightened but determined at the same time. “We'll be okay Ollie” she says sensibly and he doesn't want to upset her so he nods too, gripping her hand tight before he climbed the stairs to Verdant, a strange sort of sensation gripping him.

The though that his Speedy could get. . . . pregnant, was too much for him to contemplate so he settles for guiding her with his hands on her waist. “Im not pregnant yet Ollie” she snaps and then they're both silent, unsaid questions hanging in the air, the bar managing to amplify both of their awakardness.

“Look, I have to do this on my own alright?” she says and Oliver is frowning. “I'll be fine, we're back in Starling City, right?” and then he nods and he's staring at her, ordering a cab for her, his muscles still sore from their fight.

“What about your shoulder?” he asks, worried. “I've been icing it occasionally. I'm pretty fine with it. So no worries and no, we can't go to a doctor, too many questions” Oliver hates to agree, but there's no other option and besides, she does seem to be okay so he nods helplessly and gives directions to the cab driver, somewhat relieved to see the driver was a woman.

Thea gives him a significant glance before she goes in and it's all Oliver can do not to follow her so he settles for smiling to himself as she went, before he decided to go home himself.


	10. Old Enemies, New Friends

Old Enemies, New Friends

Thea's happy when she takes the pill, a bit embarrassed at the cashier's glance at her purchase. She wants to insanely yell out. “ _Cuz I fucked my brother_ ” just to see the woman's reaction and then she's smiling because Oliver was okay, really truly okay.

They were okay.

And then she spies familiar punk rock hair and a scruffy leather jacket so she's running to the tall figure quickly. “Hey! Nice to see you again! I mean you know, after Sara” she gasps out, mindful of the way her ankles still hurt.

Sin hugs her without a word and Thea is surprised for a moment because she seems desperate. They're in the parking lot now and she's almost sobbing on Thea's shoulder so Thea is worried.

“I'm sorry” she whispers and Thea doesn't have time to even whisper _for what_ because the harsh sting of a needle in her neck distracts her and she immediately pushes Sin off of her and she's trying to yell to the cab driver.

“Help me” she gasped out, reaching the cab in time. “Sorry” she said and then Thea's realizes the truth, the truth that she's been played like a fool.

Her mouth tastes like iron when Thea Queen wakes up, and she struggles immediately, feeling the scarf in her mouth bite into the corners of her lips. Her head's pounding worse than ever and Thea really wishes she could go one day without having another drug stabbed into her at will.

She wants Oliver, _oh she really wants him_ and she's awash with happiness when she realizes how her confession had panned out better than she'd expected and a sense of joy filled her heart quickly. She remembers Sin then and anger fills her before a "Hello Thea Queen" takes all her attention.

Nyssa Al Ghul stood, grinning darkly at her, her face as beautiful as ever although Thea noted with barely contained satisfaction that there was a scar etched deep into her cheek. "What?!" she wanted to yell but all that came out was a mangled _whrghh_ .

Thea's eyes dart down to see where she's being held and it's hilarious when she realizes that she's tied up like a caught fish, her arms tied together and her feet barely resting on a bench as she hangs from the top of the ceiling. It isn't very hilarious when Nyssa walks closer to her and Thea can smell the rank sweat she radiated and the coldness of the _dungeon?_ she was in.

She wants to yell but the gag is tight and she can taste a little of blood (her blood?) on it so she winces instead, trying to keep her body as away from Nyssa as she could.

She pats her cheek with a hand and Thea let's out a horrified _nngh_ before she grins wildly and Thea thinks that such a simple, otherwise pleasant expression shouldn't look so goddamn psychotic.

"I keep my promises" she said. "You do know your dear brother has been keeping secrets? Did he tell you about Shado? Did he tell you about what really happened to my Sara?" she asks and Thea wants to lash out at something because she feels jealous and hurt and betrayed at once and by Nyssa's grimly satisfied expression, she's pretty sure she saw all of it.

"Such a brother you have, he loves his secrets" she says and drags a finger down the ropes criss crossing her chest. She doesn't take off her gag though and it terrifies Thea because she can't move at all, even when she places her hand on her cheek again, smoothing her hair over her face like she was a child. "Your brother will come soon" she says and then she's distant and retreating to the sounds of Thea garbling underneath her restraints.

"Goodbye Queen" she says and as she goes out, she clangs the door shut and Thea's left alone in her cell, waiting for a chance to get out, refusing to think about Oliver and especially refusing to think about Sara or this new _Shado_ She's also smart, and a quick assessment of her surroundings tells Thea that she's trapped inside a dungeon, possibly underground because it did smell like a sewer and the walls didn't seem to have windows anywhere.

She tested her bonds and almost screamed with the pain as her wrists chafed, protesting the way she pulled with all her weight Her legs weren't wrapped as tightly and Thea strained against them, using her feet to stand _en pointe_ on one foot while trying to slip the other one out.

It's slow and painful and Thea groans everytime her foot slips and crashes against the bench, feeling beads of sweat drip down her cheeks.

She's straining again, and the rope feels looser but a noise outside startles her so she remains still, terrified that she'd get knocked out again and pretends to cry, although she feels like she doesn't really need much pretending.

The noise receeds and Thea waits for five. . ten. . fifteen minutes before straining against the rope once more. And once she was done, she swore, she'd end Nyssa Al Ghul, daughter of the demon or not.  
_____________

Oliver is angry, intensely angry and he's probably snapping at Felicity right now, but he's too baked up to care, ignoring how Diggle looks at him. Roy is angry too but that just makes Oliver jealous in a way he really didn't want to explore right then.

Thea wasn't at the loft. Thea wasn't at the convenience store and the bloody cab driver couldn't be found anywhere. He feels like an idiot for letting her go alone, feels like an idiot for not saving her.

"Our CCTV cameras have nothing" Felicity says and for a moment, in a distant part of his kind Oliver is relieved that they there weren't any CCTV cameras inside the room because he's pretty sure that no one would understand what he and his sister were doing in there. "And?" he says tersely, arms tightening on his bow, frustration at his inability to act only strengthening his resolve to find Thea.

“The convenience store doesn't have cameras outside and besides, it just looks like Thea made her purchase and then she's off” Felicity shrugs, her blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders and Oliver can't feel anything but anger.

"Wait!" and everyone is looking at her. “Let me” she says and she's typing quickly, turning around fast in her chair, bringing up windows and closing them. “Okay, I'm pretty sure she met up with someone” she says and everyone peers at the grainy picture, where a tall shape _Thea_ is standing in a blurry corner while next to her there's another figure and Oliver squints hard, although all he can see is a similarly grainy figure. “I don't know who she is” Felicity says helplessly, throwing her hands up in the air as Oliver resists another urge to throttle her. This was his sister, his _everything_ she was talking about and the fact that she was helpless right now, probably being tortured by some psycho because of him almost drove him to madness.

"We've got to call Malcolm" Roy says suddenly and Oliver tastes blood in his mouth as he realizes he's just bit his cheek in disgust even thinking of the man. He wants to say no, hell every molecule of his being radiates with the desire to say no, but if there's even a slight chance - "Waiting for me?" and then four pairs of eyes turn and meet the dark archer's.

"Surprised my daughter even looks at you right now " he said and the words drove a sting into Oliver, hit him inside because even he wasn't sure why she could look at his face and the guilt resurfaces before he puts his bow down, tempted nonetheless to use it against the man and patiently waits for Roy to explain.

"Thea just got taken by someone , do you recognize him or her?" And then Malcolm sighs so Oliver almost wants to kill him, "This is your daughter. How can you do this to her?" he says and he's aware he sounds dangerous and even Diggle swallows so Ollie's pretty sure Diggle is searching for the missing link here.

Malcolm ignores him and turns his face to Felicity. "I won't tell you how I know but I do know that the cab driver who drove Thea is Baronet Redfern and I think you know the rest" he says and he silently disappears as everyone turns to the monitor, Oliver feeling anticlimactic as Felicity's fingers fly across the fingers and her whispered "Bingo" at the image of a banged up woman in the police records,still recognizable as the cabbie although she'd looked rather refined before.

"Baronet Redfern is a convict on the run, previous misdemeanours robbing, stealing, blah blah blah" and suddenly she sat upright and zoomed in on a seemingly inconspicuous point. "Also a solider of Slade Wilson during one town evac" she said and the silence in the room aids the heavy sound of Oliver grabbing his bow and Roy and Diggle following as Felicity chokes out his location, hurriedly tapping in the coordinates of her prison ankle tracker.

"Guys" she shouts out suddenly. "This is way too easy, so be careful about traps alright" and she looks like she's going to hug him so Oliver turns away quickly, ignoring the hurt look on her face and Diggle's disapproval.

Roy looks indifferent although his fingers tighten on his bow as they all hurry outside.

Oliver casts one look outside for Malcolm and even though he gets a prickly feeling on the back of his neck, he ignores it and as the Arrow, he decides to prioritize because nothing entered his mind except _Thea's in danger_ and even then, it was all he could do to focus as they set off.

It was time to bring Speedy home, _again_.


	11. Gone Girl

Gone Girl

It's awkward huddling around the rope on her calves and Thea refuses to let despair cloud her determination because right then, she's aware she took too long at trying to loosen the rope at her legs. She's ashamed to admit she's a bit out of practice. She should've trained harder with the ropes instead of training with swords and that just reminds her of badly she wanted one now.

Of course, she also wanted to just give up but then again that wasn't really an option was it?

And so Thea struggles on and on and after a while the feeling's hypnotic, loosen muscles, grip and then tighten. Her arms ache at being held up for so long and the fact that she hadn't eaten for almost fourteen hours really gave her a light headed feeling. It also points to the unusual nausea she had towards the faint smell of the room.

And just as she wants to give up, the rough noise of the door being opened frightens her into inaction and Thea turns away, hoping that the state of her ropes wouldn't show. She shivers again, moaning and crying out, deciding to act her part to a tee, feeling hopeful as instead of Nyssa - and Thea breathes slightly easier - it's just a boy, probably not much older than her and he gives her a look over, with an expression that Thea can't tell is sympathetic or not before fiddling with a tool box she noticed an hour back.

He also sets down some food and the smell gets her mouth watering so he comes over to wrest off her gag. She breathes deep as soon as he does so, wanting to ask him questions but just enjoying the feel of her mouth being cleared and the way her lips hurt to close again.

A ticking noise covers her moans and whimpers and Thea sends the box a quizzical look before the iron rod her arms are attached to vibrate and click.

Suddenly her arms are lowered and Thea cries at the way it feels as the blood rushes back into her arms, a feeling of intense pins and needles that hurt way more than being merely numb. She wiggles for a moment, struggling pitifully to move them and ease the feeling before she gives up, the motion redundant because that terrible rope was still binding them together.

"Eat" the boy says and he unties the rope from behind her, clearly buying into the whole _vulnerable girl_ story.

Well that was his mistake, the poor idiot.

Thea nods pitifully, moaning again so he leans forward, probably to give her the food or to move her or something, Thea didn't know but the ropes at her calves loosened as soon as he'd slashed her ropes so she lashes out, throwing the tray at his face and flipping back as the boy screamed, probably sending out a warning and Thea cursed as she kicked him hard and ran, ran so fast she was aware of grabbing at the ropes that still wound over her body, like some sick attachment that refused to let her go.

She was running, her bare feet thudding on still floors, and her sweat felt cold as adrenaline spiked her body, turning her scared fright into a determined direction. She looks around automatically, registering the dark tunnel that surrounded her, aware of a musty feeling that permeated the air and she realized her suspicions were right, they _were_ underground.

She's still running down the tunnel, which seems to get lighter the further she goes and then she notices an opening and she's crying with relief at the sunlight, trying to climb up the ladder that is attached to the hole above, with both hands and feet, aware of the urgency in her situation.

The sun shines on her face and she feels successful and blissful before the clamping down of a hand upon her ankle and the gritty voice of "Queen" drags her down again.

* * *

Diggle always has the worst timing. "Hey, Oliver Is something going on with you and Thea?" he says and Oliver bites the truth from his expression, turning his perfected poker face to him, answering in a hiss through his teeth "Nothing is going on between me and Thea" he says, wishing Roy would drive faster and wondering why in the world he let Roy drive.

Felicity pings into the earpiece and Oliver is thankful for the distraction because Diggle doesn't look convinced. "He's moving guys, he's at this weird abandoned military headquarters down South LA Rue" she says and Oliver racks his brain because the place feels familiar.

"Hey isn't that where we caught the - ?" and Felicity completes his sentence. "The drug dealer for Vertigo. There's an underground sewer system in the vicinity so you should check that out too"

And everyone falls silent before Diggle's at it again and Oliver really wishes _he_ was the one driving. "You've been acting weird ever since that godforsaken Island thing, don't deny it Oliver" and Diggle just looks like he really cares, which doesn't make it any easier for Ollie, especially when a single word occupied his mind right now and made his grip on the bow tighten. _Thea Thea Thea_

"Can we talk about this after we rescue Thea?" he says and Diggle just looks like he's going to protest when Roy turns sharply and he's slammed against the interior of the van with next to none gentleness. _This is why they picked Roy_ and Felicity pings the earpiece again "You guys are closing in, there's two guards at the entrance, five in the subterranean level and three near the back entrance. Can't get a proper reading downstairs so you are going in blind there"

Oliver nods tersely as Roy pulls aside, and jumps out, Diggle wrangling with his mask as he steps out too, cautious where Oliver just felt brimming with adrenaline, a feeling he was used to but still felt different today.

"Showtime" Felicity mutters and Oliver frowns instead, stalking quietly into the building, glancing up at its thick menacing doors. _Thea_ he thinks and the name feels like a catalyst because he and Roy are running, their point V formation as Diggle brings up their defense before running off to the back to dispatch the other shooters. It shouldn't feel so good for Oliver to shoot the special paralyzing arrows into the guards,bur he can't deny the strange pleasure he felt as the panicked look on their faces froze with just one hit. One of them is smart enough to radio in their details but Oliver is unruffled, feinting their blows and moving with ease as he encounters one ruffian after another, pure training flowing him through his motions as he slams one man into a wall before drawing his bow and hitting another one, watching his expression of anger stay locked into him.

And then he's running, taking off, aware of Roy panting slightly beside him. They descend quickly, and Oliver slams a man down the stairway before he's grappling with another man who seems to appear out of nowhere.

The fight is silent but deadly enough and Oliver blocks a fist before slamming his own fist up the man's neck, feeling both satisfied and angry at once when the man's blood spray hits him across his face.

Diggle joins them at the lower level and Oliver's aware of his woebegone expression as he points at a blank wall. A blank wall and no Thea. Oliver wants to yell and slam his fist into the wall, but he restrained himself, turning towards Diggle for hope.

"Guards?"Oliver asks mechanically. "Only two and taken care of" Diggle says, pointing to two slumped over bodies in a corner.

"Felicity" he yells and he can hear her squeak into the ear piece before composing himself. "Sorry, where is Thea?" and then he can hear the faint sounds of tapping before her suggestion comes clear to all three of them.

"Check the sewer system outside" she says and Oliver breathes in deep, frustration warring with hope as they climb the stairs and set off to find Thea.

* * *

Sometimes, Thea wishes she was dead. Anything would be better than the cold prickling fright that she has at being spread out like a Mayan sacrifice, her hands and legs trussed up, her eyes blindfolded. She could hear the screams of the boy she'd kicked to get away from and she doesn't know if she's feeling sorry for him or frightened for them or both. She laughs dryly and the sound feels like sandpaper abrading across her skin because she's suddenly sobbing.

She'd never wanted be the _weak Thea Queen_ and when Oliver had told her the truth, _finally_ she'd been so happy, so wonderfully exultant because she finally knew he cared. He cared a _lot_. But now, hanging alone in the dungeon, Thea Queen was weak again.

But damned she'd be if she didn't at least try to escape. And so she wiggles in her bondage, the lack of sight giving her heightened touch and Thea groans as she moves her ankle, pain shooting through the tendon like a hot poker. _Was it broken?_ she didn't like to think so she ignores it, focusing on her wrists which are tied behind her.

They're proving to be impenetrable as well and Thea huffs in irritation before a cool dry woman's voice _Nyssa's of course_ interrupts her efforts. "Don't bother Thea Queen or is it Thea Merlyn now, Who killed my Sara?"

Thea wonders why she was being asked about Sara, she didn't even know that she was dead until then and she wants to sob but she can't right now, her mind is too wrecked to even contemplate the thought.

"What do you want from me?" she grits out, chafing her wrists as she squirmed helplessly. "Who killed Sara?" the woman asks and the voice is just disjointed for her, and the whole situation just feels off for Thea because she can hear her footsteps as she walks to her. "Didn't know that Nyssa wore heels" she thinks because the pointed _tap tap tap_ could only come from one source.

She can also smell the faint whiff of perfume, a lavender scent and Thea was surprised she didn't know what the brand was. Being a rich, spoilt party girl before everything had given her an opportunity to examine the fashion choices of anyone and she was astonished at the fact that she couldn’t identify what perfume the woman wore.

"Why are you doing this, I don't even know Sara's dead. Just let me go!"Thea croaks out and she's stunned when a sharp stinging sensation flicks across her cheek. The woman had smacked her and Thea can feel the pain in her cheek as it turned sore and smarting.

"Let me repeat the question. Who killed Sara?" And then Thea really doesn't know if she's being serious or not because she really didn't know, didn't even think Sara was dead. "I'm not telling you anything,because I don't know you psycho" she says and she knows it's the wrong answer when a coarse hand, _evidently not the woman's_ pulled her up by her wrists and Thea cried out at the pain, moaning as her ankle collapsed underneath her weight.

The feeling of stabbing hot coals came to her as she stumbled on her foot and Thea cried out although she was immediately silenced by a gag around her mouth, tied behind her roughly, her lips straining against it as she tasted the disgusting cloth.

"No no" she mumbles before the man beside her with the coarse hands grasps her forearm and stabs her with something. Thea realizes it's a drug because everything seems colorful, even the darkness she's currently in and she imagines she can see through the gag her eyes are closed with.

She can hear disjointed sounds, a _tap tap_ followed by a yell that sounds ridiculously painful before Thea realizes it's her own voice, she's the one screaming like a banshee. And it's because coarse hand's got a tight grip on her arm and it's because he's clearly trying to drag her somewhere and her ankle felt like it was burning up, pain flickering through it and Thea laughed, the drug making her sleepy and woozy, like she just ran a marathon and was trying to rest.

But her protests are in vain and it's evident the man had prepared for resistance because he firmly picks her up then and she sighs a little because her ankle doesn't hurt all that much anymore.

And then he puts her down on a table and he sighs, almost regretfully, Thea thinks but her thoughts are muddled and she can't concentrate on anything except the fact that the ground felt like it was spinning. And for the first time Thea is glad she can't see because she really doesn't _want to_ right now.

And then she can smell lavender and her hearts beating fast now and then Nyssa's leaning forward and Thea can tell because she can feel her breathing on her, hot and heavy and unwelcome and then she's fiddling with the cloth around her eyes and she whips away the blindfold with a seemingly well practiced flourish.

Thea's eyes hurt when she opens them and her first sight is teeth, decaying and yellow rotten and then she screams because there's a face attached to the goddamned teeth and it's Robert Queen, his eyes gouged out and his face putrefying.

And Robert Queen was supposed to be dead. 

________________

"Oliver there's something you're not telling me, man you've got to tell somebody" and Oliver feels exasperated with Diggle and before the man can ask just one more question, he's moving with Roy, comforted with their shared silence in the wake of Thea's disappearance

Felicity is silent because they're underground and then the rank smell of sewer gas is affecting all of them and they all gag before checking each sewer entrance, lifting it up and seeing if there was a special passageway or something.

The night is almost done and Oliver doesn't even feel sleepy although he's aware of Diggle yawning every two minutes and he's grinding his teeth in a poor attempt at calming himself.

"There" Roy says and they spy a faded blue circle with a handle poking out, clearly an entrance and Oliver's heartbeat quickens in anticipation of the secret it held.

Diggle grunts from behind and Oliver doesn't even have a faint suspicion, that tingling sensation in his brain that warned him of the fact that there were no guards. But this was Thea on the line, and dammit but he wasn't thinking entirely clearly.

They all hurry over to it and they tug on the handle, both of them jumping back as with a hiss it immediately produces two more handles jutting out from the side. Roy looks excited at the discovery and he's wagging his eyebrows at Oliver.  
Oliver's heart is thrumming as they all grip the handles and the opening is forced out so a dark tunnel peers through.

Dried sweat is sticking to his forehead as he contemplates the danger in which Thea is in, and then he sees her sweet face in his head for a moment, her questioning look that she gives him sometimes and the sensuous curve of her back and then he's off, jumping through the darkness to rescue his Speedy.


	12. Home

Home

Thea Queen is breathing hard, chest moving rapidly, her heart thrumming like a hummingbird's trapped in a cage at the sight of Robert Queen, _(Robert goddamned Queen!)_ staring at her wordlessly. She feels trapped under his gaze and Thea thought he should smell worse than a sewer by now because of all the decomposition but she only got a faint lavender smell.

And that was what jolted her back to attention.

"You're not my father" she spat, still feeling woozy although she was glad that Robert Queen suddenly seemed to flicker before stabilized and looked confused.

"You're Nyssa Al Ghul" Thea said and he grinned, exposing gums that had taken on a black hue and looked like they'd drop apart if he grinned any wider. She shivered at him and his next words. "I never loved you, how could I? You were that man's daughter, an _abomination_ " he rasps and the sound of it is just like her father and Thea can't deal with it, suddenly it's all she can do to whimper and brace herself to roll off the table, but someone's already there before she can land, and it's Coarse hands who slams her back on the table, face down and Thea yelps in pain and shock as her cheek slams against the cold metal. She wishes that she hadn't glimpsed the floor, because it looked like it was made out of snakes and she whines in confusion, but the sound is faint because all the air suddenly went out of her and left her as motionless as a puppet without its strings.

Her father _dead dead dead_ leans in again and whispers against her cheek, his rotting skin coming off in tatters next to her as Thea sobbed now, the sound ugly and hiccuping as he brushed back her hair. "Where is _my_ son?" he asks and Thea shakes her head tightly, refusing to feel a pounding guilt as she thought of what her father might think if he'd known what his children had _done_ and _felt_. He wasn't real, _he wasn't real_ and as long as she remembered that, she was alright. And in the same breath, she realized it was Vertigo again, although this seemed worse in a way.

"Now, who did you murder, like father like daughter, aren't you?" he asked and then Thea's screaming because Coarse hand's yanks on her ankle and there's a tiny crunching sound before pain blooms across her leg.

Robert Queen floats into Thea's view again and she's breathing sharply at the pain, wishing to god that the drug in her system would wear off. And then there's another sensation crawling across her back and Thea wriggles, shocked to see her father _dead dead dead_ holding a scorpion in his hands.

And Thea shuddered because she knew what it did. Knew from an especially painful session from Malcolm.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you if you tell me what happened to Sara" and Thea bites back the answer in her mouth because she now knows for certain that the person in front of her isn't really her father, but it's still confusing. And Thea prepares in advance for the pain because there wouldn't be an answer since she really didn't know.

"I don't know, please" she gasps out and then there's a heat followed by a prick in her shoulder now and Thea screams and screams, nothing but pain blinding her in its intensity, she would've fainted long ago if it hadn't been for Malcolm's training and she wishes that _she could faint_ a moment later when Coarse hands starts on her other ankle.

* * *

"Jump through the window" Felicity comes in clear through the earpiece and the trio jump in surprise instead, wondering how she could manage to get a signal. "Something tells me you're all at the right place" she says and Oliver nods, he'd felt it by instinct anyway.

They were in a dark chamber, and three doors lined the surroundings, seemingly locked while two windows faced each other.

The room was empty, bare, and Roy shivered at the chill in the atmosphere before he hitched his arrow holster and nodded at Oliver and Diggle before kicking down the window.

They all climb through, Diggle insisting he lay at the back while Oliver took the lead position, running in his haste. "I'm seeing heat at the intersection from my scanner so you need to head on there" Felicity said and then Oliver's nodding, gripping his bow tightly as he soldiered on, stealth be damned.

A scream splits the silence in the air.

Oliver feels like the world is shattering around him because that's Thea's voice and he'd recognize it anywhere and then Roy's yelling distantly _"No. HEY stop"_ but he doesn't care, he hasn't realized he's running until he stops outside a room where the screaming is coming clear though and then he kicks the door open with a strength even he didn't know he possessed.

Rage boils inside of him and turns his vision into a red gaze because Thea, oh god, Thea's practically stripped down and lying comatose on a metal table and _that bitch_ is with her and there's a rough looking guy and Oliver, oh he doesn't care anymore, so he notches an arrow and the man keels over, his lips burbling with blood as Nyssa Al Ghul stared at him blankly.

"I should kill you" Oliver snarls before he's running to Thea, his _everything_ and she clutches at him and moans and then Oliver's not sure he's hearing her right because she's moaning _dad's_ name over and over and not her real dad that is, but _Robert Queen_ and Oliver presses a kiss to her forehead as he picks her up, too afraid to look at the cuts on her back.

Nyssa chooses that moment to become self aware and then she's shooting an arrow at him which Oliver barely dodges.

Oliver's angry now, rage blinding him and he gently puts Thea down atop a pile of blankets before he barrels into Nyssa, who's clearly expecting the maneuver as she rolls away before she's throwing away her bow and then she's in a stance, light as a feather on the ground.

“Fight me Queen and die” she snarls and Oliver is charging forward, ignoring the kick she aimed at his face and grasping it in his hands in order to flip her, which she neatly turned into another kick, placing a hand in the ground and turning herself away as she leaped, leaving both of them panting on the floor.

Adrenaline's rushing through Oliver and his previous wounds still hurt but he couldn't afford to concentrate on anything else because she was coming at him again and this time when he hears a loud _bang_ , he is surprised to see her fall motionless into his arms.

Diggle is staring at at Oliver when he looks up and Roy's eyes are panicked as he looks at Thea.

_Thea Oh god_

And Oliver literally throws Nyssa on the floor before he picks Thea up, making sure he grabbed a blanket around her as he did so. And then he literally can't see anything but the tiny bundle in his hands and he's scared and happy at once and the strength of his emotions surprise him. There's so much pain etched in her face and he wants to kiss her, kiss the suffering away and make her laugh, laugh like she used to. He closes his eyes and gasps out a sob, rocking her in his arms. He can hear Diggle saying something but he ignores him and clutches her tighter.

He can never let her go again. And when Roy makes as if to hold her, Oliver shies away and turns Thea's face to his own, wondering if she really was alright. Diggle's instructing Roy and Oliver can't even hear what the big man is saying, his eyes are focused on his sister and it's all he can do to rip off the blanket and treat her wounds then and there.

But he wasn't exactly a doctor and he wasn't very good at obeying commands so he quickly ascends the stairs, the maneuvering proving to be a bit difficult as he climbs slowly, ever aware of the pain she must be in, as she gasped and wriggled slightly, and he's glad she's asleep now even if she still moaned out _No_ and _Robert Queen_ (for some crazed reason) occasionally.

He's standing there as he wants impatiently for Roy and Diggle to catch up and he's too exhausted mentally to even think about anything so he's glad that Roy has the foresight to call a doctor ready to treat Thea when they go home.

Even the doctor looks shocked at Thea's injuries and Oliver assures both Diggle and Roy that he's good, he'll take care of Thea before he sends them away and then he's sitting on the couch, directly across the doctor.

The doctor was an older man and as he quickly cleaned up Thea, Oliver wondered why the man reminded him of his father.

“Will she be okay?” he asked urgently and he's satisfied when the doctor shoots an annoyed grin his way, his veined hand efficiently injecting a relaxant into Thea. She stopped wriggling immediately. “I need to examine her properly before I can say” Oliver nods, satisfied a little but his gaze doesn't wander and he's staring when Thea is flipped over and her back looks red and angry.

An immediate surge of anger trumps over all of Oliver's emotions and he's breathing fast because he's just that furious. He wants to kill the person who did this to his sister, wants to tear apart the flesh that dared to harm his Speedy, his _Thea_.

How ironic her back matched his exact mood.

The doctor ignores his expression and Oliver's thankful in a distant part of his mind that someone was professional.

The doctor looks hopeful after half an hour. Oliver sees that Thea is covered by a blanket. He observed the bandages around her back wrapped more thickly around her shoulders although he didn't see any wound and it worried him.

“Look, young man” the doctor said, interrupting his thoughts. “Oliver” he corrected, wondering if it was safe to trust the doctor and wishing he had changed out or his superhero costume before he engaged with him.

“She has clearly been tortured by someone” he says, and there's a silence after his statement that Oliver doesn't fill.

“Now, there isn't a mark on her body, except her ankles which are heavily sprained, you do need bed rest for that and her bruised back, but I'm more worried it's her mind that's been messed with” he says and Oliver's face shows none of the turmoil he feels. “How” he says and the doctor smiles sympathetically, although it turns out to look like a grimace.

“She's been injected with some kind of a hallucinogen, you can tell by her symptoms and eye reflexes. She's also been subjected to electric shocks, and there is a very miniscule chance of temporary brain damage ” Oliver's stunned into silence and there are actual goddamn tears rising in his face right now, because no, no not Thea.

The man looks sad now, and when he speaks again, his tone is kinder and he offers Oliver advice before handing him a prescription for her ankles.

“Hey look, she needs a lot of rest and care right now” he says and walks away when Oliver escorts him to the door.

And then Oliver's rushing to Thea's bedside and collapses next to her as he looks at her beautiful pale face. She looks tired and there are nasty black circles underneath her eyes. But she's home, finally home.  
Oliver fights back the bitter taste of _vengeance_ as it screamed in his mouth and then he's gripping her hand in his, scary how it was so small compared to his own and then he watches over her like he always had and always would.

“You're safe now Speedy” he says and he thinks he imagines it, but it feels like she's smiling.


	13. Rubeus

Rubeus

"Ugh what time is it Ollie?" is the first thing that he hears when he wakes up from the short nap he took sitting in the chair next to Thea. He grins in relief, the feeling of a poor night wiped away at the sight of Thea's grin as she peeked at him, adorable with the covers right up to her chin, the warmth in the room unable to surpass the warm feeling in him.

"It's 11 in the morning"

"And you didn't wake me up?" she yells and Oliver's laughing then, relieved to see she looked fine although her smile morphed into a frown after she looked around. "Where?" she mutters and he knows it's time to distract her. "I made us chicken soup, actually put in beans and carrots and all that like our old chef used to make it" he says, standing up and moving out of the room. "You cooked the chicken yourself?" Thea squeals, pretends to be amazed and Oliver deadpans "You mean you gotta cook it first?" she squeals in laughter and Oliver smiles in nostalgia at the happiness in it, so untainted by anything.

He's walking into the kitchen, bright sunlight in the room reflecting how he felt, his feet light even through his soreness as he thought about what he could do to take her mind away from her injuries.

He's gathering the broth and heating it up when he hears her. "Ollie!" Thea yells and he frowns, he really hoped she was going to try to get up later. So he quickly sloshes the soup into the bowls and walks fast, hoping to catch her before she tried something stupid. "Thea, the doctor said you needed to rest" Oliver replied as he walked into the room, chicken broth in one hand and bowls in the other.

"Hey" he says softly, amused at the sight of her anger as she thrashed the sheets half heartedly, determined to get up. "Just one more day Thea" he says and she acquiesced, patting the part of the bed next to her arm. "Come sit with me" she pouts and he likes it, misses the playful side of his baby sis he hasn't seen lately. He points towards the soup and she shakes her head like he suspected she would.

"You know the first moment I knew what I felt for you was.... " she trails off, her voice whisper quiet and Oliver understood what she was trying to say even though he didn't exactly hear what she said. "Yeah?" he says hoarse, the feeling of having forced her still paramount in his head, his tangled emotions creeping into a snare around his heart again.

"That night I saw your scars" she replies and he's still, because he hadn't expected that answer. "So for a year?" he said, waiting for her to clarify. "I mean, I did sorta fantasize about you while growing up but that's when I realized, you know. Ollie, I know that you're my brother, but honestly you _are_ clueless sometimes" .

The bitter end to her words doesn't miss him because in a way, he's the one who'd transformed the sweet girl he'd known into the hardened woman she is today. "Speedy" he says, willing himself to face her. She closed her eyes and a single question escaped from her like it took all her strength.

"Did I kill Sara?" And then it feels like his breath is knocked out of him by a particularly well placed fist because he _couldn't_ breathe,couldn’t see anything but the pain in Thea's eyes as she stared at him, silently daring him to answer her truthfully. He didn't know how Nyssa Al Ghul had managed to come by that piece of information. He always thought Malcolm was at least fond enough of his daughter to keep the clip away from the League. Of course, those petty sentiments of his were before the island.

"Malcolm drugged you when you were with him and it made you...... susceptible to suggestion. It was something strong, Thea and it _wasn't_ your fault" She's silent and he has an odd feeling she probably figured it out by herself.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she gasps out and it hurts Oliver to see her crying desperately, hiccuping sobs escaping from her as she turned away from him. He feels like shit, feels like curling up next to her and giving her gentle kisses everywhere. He wants to show her it wasn't her fault but he knew his sister, knew her even though sometimes she was a mystery and he was sure she didn't want him to touch her right then.

"Speedy it wasn't you, that's why I couldn't tell you, it wasn't you" and it really feels like his heart is the one that's breaking, because this time _she's_ suffering, and it all came back to him,because he didn't protect her. "But she was my friend" Thea gasps, remembering the friendly way she'd actually conversed, the way she actually connected to one of Oliver's girlfriends. "Thea" "Don't Ollie" and he can feel something breaking inside of him and the sun is shining directly on them now, the large glass windows highlighting Thea's tear stained cheek as she sobbed silently. "I just need to be alone right now" she says and then he nods tightly. There's anger inside of him, anger at Nyssa, anger at the League, hell anger at _anyone_ But most of all, there's a pounding tension in his head and heart and he walks out of her room. He doesn't try to kiss her as he goes out and locks the main door.

He does slam his fist on the wall outside their apartment and the rush of pain it gives him helps center him. "Roy" he rasps into his phone, _Arrow voice_ in place as he made his way to Verdant.

He doesn't think about anything on the way there, anything but how broken she looked and when he sees that the room is (blessedly) empty, Oliver picks up his sword and practices his moves, hearing a _zing_ as the blade cut through the air effortlessly, it's steel glinting blue in the white light.

He's shirtless a moment later and the sweat is pooling, almost glistening on his back after he twists and slashes their test dummy to pieces. Nyssa Al Ghul is housed in one of their secret prisons in the city and Oliver controls the urge to rush there and run the fine point of his sword through her.

His emotions have him messing up his sword hand but Oliver slashes in the air anyway, hoping to feel numb, hoping to feel like the previous Oliver again, the man who'd killed without a second thought, the man who didn't have emotions.

Then he thinks about Nyssa again and his mind is quivering in rage by the time he's done thinking about all the various torture she must've inflicted upon his baby sister and the state he found Thea in. He stabs the sword through a practice dummy, neatly splitting in half before he's climbing the salmon ladder, the loud clangs of metal meeting metal almost comforting in it's familiarity even if his ribs soon ached in protest.

"I don't think that ladder ever did anything to you Oliver" and he sighs as he continues exercising, ignoring the warm voice of Diggle as he strode into view, looking rather the worse for wear, his shirt hanging slightly looser on him than usual. "What are you doing here? Thought you were gonna stay with the prisoner you shot?" he grits out, an unsaid " _but didn't kill_ " hanging in the air.

Diggle ignores him, ignores the accusatory tone in his voice as he continues, unperturbed. "We need to talk. Look Oliver, you're one of the smartest men I know, but you need to tell me if something's bothering you, now what is going on?" And for a moment he's tempted, as he comes down from the ladder and immediately moves into his next exercise, dropping to the ground and starting one handed push ups, sweat dripping down his forehead and staining the floor in drops.

He stares at one of the drops as he answers, careful now because letting his guard down with Diggle was just so easy.

"Thea knows about Sara now. And I'm afraid I can lose her now because of it" he gasps out. "Oliver what did you say?" Diggle grunts in surprise and Oliver wasn't expecting that tone of exasperation, so it stung him when he raised his head to see Diggle give him an incredulous look. "I told her that she killed Sara, and that it wasn't her fault" And Diggle's shaking his head now, "Did Nyssa tell her?" he asks, and there's a tremor in his voice as he does so.

Oliver's confused but he replies "Well I'm not entirely sure, Diggle but she just asked me straight out if she killed Sara" And then he's pissed when Diggle shakes his head and the expression on his face really veers towards condescension because Diggle seemed to have figured out something he didn't.  
"She played you Oliver, she didn't think she killed Sara, she just wanted to test out a theory Oliver and you confirmed it" "What - " and Oliver is just confused, shaking his head. "Diggle, I did? " "She played you with the oldest lawyer trick in the world man, she made you tell her" and then Oliver gasps suddenly become it just seems clear now, why she looked strangely hopeful before her expression closed off when he told her.

"But I couldn't hide the truth from her forever Dig"

The words are hard enough to turn Diggle's face into something closely resembling pity and he turns his face away from Diggle, suddenly tired because he really wants to tell him the truth, the full disclosure and he's loathe to admit he really misses the way they were once buddies. "Fair enough" Diggle grunts and suddenly he's thankful for the company, because sparring alone wasn't very fun at all.

"Roy with her?" he asks, lazily punching a dummy and ducking before it reverse kicked him with its lever.

"Yeah" he said and paused. "And Felicity's with Palmer" he said, silent after the words like he just said something very horrendous. Oliver doesn't break a sweat because really and it felt harsh even to him, he'd never felt even a fraction of love that he had with Thea for Felicity.

"It's okay Dig, she needs a life outside the Arrow" he says and he knows immediately that's a very suspicious thing to say because Diggle (for some inexplicable reason) took a deep breath at that. So he adds hurriedly, "It does hurt me though" but it sounds lame, even to him so he stops replying, both of his shoulders aching now that he stood on his arms and warmed up to use the bo.

"Wanna spar?" he asks casually, looking over his shoulder to find his ex bodyguard staring into the distance like he was contemplating something very interesting. "Course" he said and slipped his shirt off, reaching for the Bo. "I really want to kick your ass for once" he says, smiling and Oliver laughs too before Diggle jumps onto him and they're play wrestling before they actually spar, Oliver's reflexes fast as usual while Diggle was a bit slower, although his moves were more elaborate, more smarter.

Diggle jumps away from a right kick and Oliver's smiling because he's panting now. "You're out of practice" he says and Diggle nods, his eyes focused upon the Bo in Oliver's hand.

"You can't hide what you're going through forever, Oliver Queen" he rasped and then training's over, because Oliver didn't want to delve into anything involving Thea, because even the thought of her was wrecking him from the inside. Diggle backs away, pulls on his shirt. "I'm going to check up on Thea" he says, like he just read Oliver's mind.

And then Oliver's left there in the room, sweat soaked and alone.


	14. Master

Master

Roy is handsome, that's the reason Thea even noticed him (however shallow that might seem), he has angled cheekbones that could put a model to shame, beautiful eyes and a body to match. But he's no Oliver.

Thea watches him try to cheer her up. Watches him give her a placating grin when she moans about her ankle. She watches him try to console her but she can't help feeling that _Oliver_ would've done a better job. Because when Oliver held her, it felt like safety and comfort and she can't help compare the strength of that feeling to Roy's lukewarm hug as he tells her to sleep, whispers the words into her hair.

He pads out of the room, silent and says "I'll be in the living room" and for some reason, Thea suddenly feels like she's being guarded, _like a liability_ she thinks immediately and frowns. She killed Sara.

_She murdered Sara_

And the thought of what she'd done overwhelmed her as soon as Roy walked out of her room.

The reality feels like it's crashing itself into her and she can remember every single form of imaginative torture that Nyssa devised for her.

She remembers the scorpion and her back tingles like it's remembering the feeling. Thea feels wrecked and it's like something inside of her is broken forever because she never thought, never even _knew_ Sara had died.

Bright, beautiful and witty Sara. Dead, murdered and rotting Sara.

There's flashes of images running across her head now, a bow strung back, dark night with the city lights in the distance and she doesn't know if she's hallucinating them now or if they really were flashes of memories.

She can imagine the moment she pulls back her bow, the taut string of it smooth in her experienced hands, the length comfortable to use with her stance. And Malcolm, _fucking_ Malcolm Merlyn had her do it.

She wants to cry and scream, beat herself up for being so stubbornly stupid, for thinking he could ever love her, ever truly see her as a daughter.

She'd trusted him, opened her heart to him and watched it get trampled over and over, watched it get discarded into the dirt.

She'd left her brother for him.

And it's that thought that springs her into action because she can see Oliver's face in front of her, his eyes clouded with sadness and she's suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that she was in love, _in love_ with her brother. And there's that terrifying niggling doubt in her head that tells her she shouldn't have forced him, shouldn't have encouraged him when he was on that horrifying drug, because she has a feeling that it wasn't up to him, that she'd taken advantage of him. And years away at an island or no, he was still her brother, still her protector and man of the same blood.

She can't think, she doesn't want to think about him and then she sucks in a deep breath and flips away the covers, brain functioning on autopilot, a plan forming in her mind. She straightens out her feet and it feels like she's breaking her ankles when she stretches her legs. " _Oh god_ " she moaned softly, and then glanced at the door terrified, hoping Roy hadn't heard her.

She relaxes when she can't hear anything but the soft whir of the fan in the other room and her pounding heartbeat. Her lips are pressed together in pain when she sits up and lunges for her robe, a soft red terrycloth that Oliver had probably left for her. She ties it on and briefly wonders why Ollie hadn't changed her clothes. _Too shy_ she thought, enjoying the sweetness of that thought. And then she hardens her emotions, locks away the sobbing mess she wants to be way inside of her.

She stays quiet for a minute, gathers her hands into fists against her waist before she tries to get up, almost biting off her tongue in an effort to remember not to scream.

Her feet hurt beyond reckoning, there's a sharp pain that brings back all sorts of terrible memories but she pushes them back, along with the memory of the image of Coarse hand's grinning at her. She tries to take a step, gritting her teeth when pain burns through her ankles and shoots up her legs. She's wobbling and it takes all of her concentration not to flop over with the pain.

Thea bites her lip, bites down until she can feel blood rising to the surface as she takes another step, the burning increasing with every little step she took.

Apparently, the pain pills didn't help much.

She thinks about Sara , thinks about the way she'd talked with her in the bar. Sara had been vibrant and so alive and now she was dead, _dead because of her_ and the thought feels so bitter in Thea's head that she can't breathe and she looks down at the wood flooring. And then a thought freight trains into her head and she suddenly can't breathe because _Laurel_ , oh god, what would she tell Laurel? Hope we could she ever tell her about it? " _Oh hey Laurel, so my dad drugged me, whatever and then I killed your sister. Oh and I might have also fucked your one true love_ " She's overlooking her window now and her plan is flimsy even to her, but the rightness of it feels much too heavy to ignore.

And Thea's mind slips into the darkness inside of her, splinters into two as she descends her appartement through the secret window passage she'd installed by instruction of Merlyn a long time ago.

 _Bye Ollie_ she whispered and thought no more, hurrying off into the darkness of the night.

* * *

Oliver knows he's being a dick, but he can't help it when half of his mind is devoted to Thea and the other half is _also devoted to Thea_. Felicity is agitatedly pacing in front of him because she couldn't get a hold of Roy and it was all Oliver could do to grit his teeth and worry his lips until he could feel a bruise begin to form, adding to the way his whole body felt like it had been through a meat tenderiser.

"I should totally check his coordinates, what if he's not alright, oh my goodness, He's in trouble, Oliver you really don't think -? " "Thea's probably very happy with Roy now" Oliver rasped out and he sounded harsher than he'd have liked. Felicity smirked at him knowingly, "And you're jealous. That's just adorable Oliver, being a big brother and all" and for an insane second, Oliver wants to tell her the truth, wants to watch the amused glow in her eyes fade to disgust because sometimes he's just a masochist that way.

"Look, she's alright and Roy didn't take his cell phone with him, what's the big deal Felicity?" And if he sounds more than annoyed, it has nothing to do with the fact that he's jealous. _Nothing at all_ And then Oliver really wants to swallow his words because Diggle storms into the room and his expression is anything but relieved or amused.

"Thea's gone" he says and there's a temporary silence, the taste of it pure disbelief in the air and the two words rain upon Oliver like devastation. Felicity looks like she wants to speak but she's staring frightened at Oliver, like he'd snap any moment. He's loathe to admit he almost does feel like he's snapping so he keeps his voice low and says the only thing he can. "Where?" and he notes Diggle looks unnecessarily sharp. "To Nyssa's" and suddenly Oliver understood.

His sister, righteous Thea, the one good thing in their whole family, she was going to get herself killed. And it was because of him. Because of his big fat mouth he couldn't keep shut. Because he didn't think about the guilt she might be having. Because he left her alone, crying and wounded when he should've been there.

_He'd left her_

And now, Speedy was going to her last run.

There's guilt crushing him now, crashing over him like waves and Diggle gives him a sympathetic grin because he probably guessed why Oliver felt that way. He wants to cry, he wants to sob for Thea's forgiveness and then he composes himself because in the end, he'd always protect Thea, even if he was the one who did the damage.

"We've got to stop her" he gritted out and Felicity looks at both of them before going back to her keyboard and quickly entering coordinates. "She might not be able to enter the password" she says but Oliver thinks it doesn't really matter.

And before either Felicity or Diggle can get another word out, Oliver is running again, running to save Speedy from himself.


	15. Regeneration

Regeneration

Thea knows the prison where Nyssa is being kept. It had been next to nothing to listen in on Roy's conversation with Diggle in one of the passages that ran under the living room in her apartment. It had been a little harder swiping Roy's cell phone from him, but she _had_ been taught by the best and the thought of Merlyn sends a chill down her back as she thought of the way she'd loved him.

The man in the cab had leered alarmingly at her and she kept her expression a determined scowl, so his interest soon turned into irritation.  
Texting Laurel about her confession really wasn't the best way to end things but she couldn't delay anything in her plan. And then she threw Roy's phone away, stashed it in the back pocket of the seat in front of her.

He probably thought she was mad when she asked him to drop her twenty miles off the city and the nearest building.

And then she thinks he's probably right when she climbs down the secret entrance, feels the metal plate clang shut behind her as she descends, her emotions stashed away somewhere inside as she thought about what to do.

The cell room is quiet. Thea gazes round in wonder, running her hand slowly upon the smooth walls of granite that made up the room.

She looks forward and her eyes directly meet the hard gaze of the heir of the demon.

Nyssa is glaring at her dangerously through her bars, and Thea shivers at the sight because Nyssa looked more than a little psychotic, and her arms clutched the bars like a spider's spindly legs. "Come back for more, Miss Queen?" she asks and Thea breathes deep in the swell of perfume that casts over the area.

"When you lost Sara" she starts and winces. Nyssa picks up on her expressions, her beautiful face immediately twisted in rage. "Sara was my only love. I lost her and I lost my mind" she said, staring at Thea like she hadn't spoken at all. "I lost being the demon's heir" she chokes out and Thea realizes, wonders how horrible it would've been to be cast out by her own family, _by her own father_. "That's why he didn't come for you!" Thea says and Nyssa nods, her eyes slanting and deadly black in the florescent light. Thea takes a step forward, she's not thinking at this point and it's all she can do to pace her nervous heart.

She pulls out the dagger sheathed inside of her robe, turning the handle over in her hand before giving it to Nyssa through the bars. "Kill me and take your revenge" she says and tightens her hold on the hozen Oliver gave her, years ago it seemed, back when she was trusting and happy with everything, with _only_ being Oliver's sister.

And Nyssa took the dagger, her practiced fingers tightening around the leather. Her eyes glinted in emotion, in something between savage happiness and doubt.

Thea leaned in and rested her cheek upon the cool bars. She breathed deep and awaited judgement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes that is short and possibly frustrating. But I always wanted this series to go with canon a bit, so I will update after watching the series and tweaking it a little XD.


	16. Carnage

Carnage

It isn't what she's expecting when she feels nothing for a second and she's wondering if she has to compell Nyssa to _kill_ her when the harsh sound of grating metal shocks her eyes open.

The cell doors are open and the disgraced demon's heir is watching her, eyes narrowed in concentration. Her mouth is a thin line, fury represented in each harsh curve of her face, twisted by hatred and vengeance. Thea absurdly wonders if lock picking is a skill they teach in assassin land and the thought almost makes her giggle mirthlessly.  
She suddenly turns sober again as Nyssa visibly flexes her muscles and stares at her for a long moment. Thea can feel every single beat of her heart, can feel the way her breath hangs in the air, the coolness of the bunker a contrasting juxtaposition to the heat in her veins.

Lavender notes fill the air for a second as Nyssa moves and the scent memory is enough to make her cringe, to make the healing scars on her back feel impossibly sore again.  
She thinks of Oliver then and _his scars_ and for a minute she wants to cry, wants to leave but all she can think of after that is _I killed Sara_ and the words are suddenly a tune on repeat in her head, a madness that feels like it's taking over her.

Nyssa cries out and Thea closes her eyes.

* * *

The coldness of the bunker feels like a premonition and Oliver refuses to think forward, refuses to let the panic slowly inching into him escalate into a full blown attack.  
He hears nothing and he knows he's too late, but the shock is still hard, hits him like a truck speeding on the freeway.

Thea's lying there in a pool of red and she looks _dead_ and he wants to cry, wants to bring the whole world down, anger red like a fucking hurricane combined with grief bellowing into him. He can smell the blood and it makes him gag, the metallic tinge almost tangible in the air. The sight of his baby sister makes him want to cry out loud and beat the earth and scream at the gods for letting his sister die, for making her another strike on his bloody history.  
There's enormous guilt crashing into him as he numbly walks toward her, as he remembers her touch. He knows this was his fault, all his fault.

He's running to her, sight blurred through tears, voice cracking “No, no oh god, Thea no, not this way” but she doesn't respond, doesn't give him a quip like she _always_ does and he clutches her close to him, ignoring the way her blood stains him, the way her blood _their blood_ is slowly congealing on the cold floor.

He hates the disgusting sense of familiarity that accompanies him when he carries her body in his arms, lets her weight rest in his hands before he gets her off the floor, remembering the way she felt when he'd - he swallows again, eyes watering like someone had just carved out his heart and in a way, that had just happened hadn't it?

Thea is dead and it's all his fault.

He doesn't think about the futility of taking her to a hospital. His earpiece pings frantically and he knows it's Felicity, knows it's someone concerned about Thea and he wishes he could reply.

He had done this, he was the one who deserved the blood on his hands, as he closed Thea's eyes gently with his fingers, pretending for a little while that she was asleep. She was wasn't she? Maybe this was all a terrible dream and he'd wake up to find her pressed against him, sharp cheekbones digging into his shoulder and breathing uncomfortably warm on his skin.

He stands up, swallowing at the sudden increase of weight in his hands. Thea had always been... alive, always animated, bristling with energy. His fingers catch on something wet, and he doesn't want to know what it is. His grip falters and when his hands graze the torn shirt on her back, he's horrified when she doesn't gasp in pain.  
_she's dead you fool_ he thinks but the thought is merely passing and it feels like he's going insane when he doesn't react to it.

Her stomach is a mess of blood and his teeth clench in anger, wondering what in the world Nyssa had done, at why he'd even let her live, why he refrained from completely destroying her (to hell with his no-killing policy), why he hadn't separated flesh personally with his teeth, wondered why he let the demon's heir pass his hands unharmed. The surge of emotion gives him strength to keep on moving, to take her upstairs, to a hospital.  
Doctors worked wonders didn't they?  
She'd be okay.  
She _had_ to be okay.




The hospital is quiet.  
It should've been reassuring, _would've_ been reassuring if he'd currently had even a sliver of hope within him.

There had been a clatter of noise that unnerved him when he'd brought her into the hospital, drenched half in her blood and eyes spewing venomous need for revenge.  
He'd watched absent-mindedly as the nurse cringed in barely concealed horror as she took one look at Thea and began to yell for a stretcher.  
When the stretcher came, he had to fight the urge to growl at them, to give in to the urge to hold Thea to himself.

He remembers letting her go, the nurse barking nervously at him to stay back, unable to follow her into the ICU, anger and hopeless rage pumping in his veins, trying to change his very being as he clings to Thea like she's his anchor to earth itself and maybe it's true, he _loves_ her and he wonders when the word ceased to be enough to describe the way he felt about her.

He can see her through the glass, can see the frenzied attempts by the doctors to revive her, shirt ripped open with bruises visible on her skin.

His view is interrupted by a nurse hurriedly closing green and blue curtains shut and he stumbles away, catches his sore hip on the wall and sits down hard, steel chair creaking under his weight.

The hospital is still quiet and he's sitting restlessly, ignoring the repetitive pings in his ear piece. He wants to rip it out and stamp on it when it suddenly occurs to him that it isn't fair to ignore everyone so he picks up on the succeeding ring and tries not to wince at Felicity's shrill voice.

"Well finally! Look Oliver, me, Roy and Diggle are on their way to the hospital" she says quickly, like she's afraid Oliver will end the call before she can get her words out.  
"Call Laurel too" he manages to rasp out, clutching the earpiece tighter to his ear.  
Before Felicity can voice protest he cuts the connection and buries his head in his sweaty palms.

By God he was going to kill Nyssa if it meant dying himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween everybody! I wanted to get this short one out and about. Hopefully I'll be updating more from now on :)
> 
> (Chapter edited on 1/24/2016 for minor inconsistencies across platforms)


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